Gutted the Science magazine LaTeX article template for this joke

scifile.tex

% Use only LaTeX2e, calling the article.cls class and 12-point type.

\documentclass[12pt]{article}

\usepackage{times}

\topmargin 0.0cm
\oddsidemargin 0.2cm
\textwidth 16cm 
\textheight 21cm
\footskip 1.0cm

\newenvironment{sciabstract}{%
\begin{quote} \bf}
{\end{quote}}

\renewcommand\refname{References and Notes}

\newcounter{lastnote}
\newenvironment{scilastnote}{%
\setcounter{lastnote}{\value{enumiv}}%
\addtocounter{lastnote}{+1}%
\begin{list}%
{\arabic{lastnote}.}
{\setlength{\leftmargin}{.22in}}
{\setlength{\labelsep}{.5em}}}
{\end{list}}

\title{Can Procrastination Prevent a Thesis?} 

\author
{Umer Salman$^{1}$\\
\\
\normalsize{$^{1}$I don\'t have a department, University of Umer,}\\
\normalsize{Unknown Address, Wherever, ST 12345, USA}\\
}

\date{}

\begin{document} 

\baselineskip24pt

\maketitle 

\begin{sciabstract}
  Insert abstract here
\end{sciabstract}

\section*{Introduction}

\vspace{12pt}

\section*{References and Notes}

I should probably do this sometime

\end{document}