jokes

Journalist asks:
-Comrade Stalin, do you have any hobby?
-I collect jokes about me.
-And how many have you collected so far?
-About two and a half gulags

Phone call between a Russian and an Englishman. The Englishman says:
-Listen, I heard it was -60 degrees over there!
-No, it’s about -30.
-But the BBC said -60.
-Oh, you mean outside?

Moscow, a policeman sees a Jew holding a Hebrew dictionary.
-Why are you learning Hebrew? You know you can’t leave.
-I’m learning Hebrew so that I can talk to Moses and Abraham when I get to heaven.
-And if you go to hell?
-I already speak Russian.

Jesus Christ fed the masses with a few loaves and fish. The socialist regime has proved it can do even better.

How did Czechoslovaks find out that the Earth was round?
They took a dump on the West and shit came from the East.

A huge queue in front of a supermarket. One guy is murmuring all the time:
There is nothing in this country! No food, no gas, no clothes, no nothing!
After a while a man behind him angrily raises voice:
Shut up already! Or I will hit you with the gun handle!
You see! - shouts the first man - there are even no bullets!

The dying capitalism is dancing at the edge of the abyss. Socialism, of course, one step ahead of them.