These tips come from my experience, but they also owe a large debt to the mentoring panel I was on and that was put together by Erik Riedel & Nithya Ruff for Open Source Leadership Summit 2019.
You have something you want to learn more about or you need experienced advice with. You just need answers and then you're not likely to take up the mentor's time much again.
- Figure out what you need help with. This is key. Do this now before you do anything else.
- Come up with a specific, well-bounded question expressing that.
- Locate someone who knows about what you need help with and whom you think you can trust.
- Contact them and ask whether they could spare a little time to talk to you about your question.
- Respect the 'No'. Thank for them for their time & then try with someone else.
- Share the question with them up front (don't bury the lede).
- Make it easy for them.
- Be flexible for scheduling. Their schedule takes precedence.
- Be flexible with contact methods. Their contact method takes precedence.
- Don't be greedy with their time.
- If you're the one asking for the time, you are responsible for sending the calendar invitation.
- Be early for the meeting. Never be late.
- Take only the time they've allotted to you or say that they're willing to spend.
- Thank them for their time afterward.
- Be willing to answer questions for and mentor them should the need ever arise. Mentoring should never be considered only a one-way relationship.
Every once in a while you need to bounce ideas off someone, ask advice from an unbiased third party, get reality checks, etc. You'll be building a casual but longer term relationship with this person…or people. There's no reason you can't have multiple people whom you can consult in this way.
- Unlike One-off mentoring, this sort (and the next) are usually best if you approach someone you've met before. Cold-calls (or emails or whathaveyou) can work here, but it's usually better if you have some sort of existing association or relationship with the person. Past team members, managers, and executives are good choices, but keep in mind that they don't necessarily have to be people from your past teams or your past managers. People from other teams are also good options. People you've interacted with at conferences or on social networks also can be good options, as are (sometimes) past One-off mentors.
- Be very clear with them that you're interested in getting their help from time to time and try to set up some sort of expectations as to frequency. Let them know up from what they might be getting into.
- Try to avoid last moment scheduling, unless you have a close relationship with the mentor (and try to avoid it even then).
- Always try to have a fairly specific topic for the conversation and, as with the One-off type, share it with your mentor in advance so they can prepare if needed.
- All the tips about making it easy & thanking from One-off mentoring apply here, too.
You'd like to talk to someone on a regular basis (bi-weekly, monthly, quarterly, etc). You'll be building a close, long term relationship with this person. Again, you can have multiple of these depending upon your needs.
- Everything from Occasional mentoring above applies, especially the "set up expectations as to frequency."