A load of useful PHP functions that should really be factored into a package or something at some point.

tools.php

<?php

/**
 * Class FormatMe
 *
 * This is just my collection of helper functions, should probably put them in a package
 * at some point due to their usefulness.
 *
 */

class FormatMe {

    /**
     * Convert seconds to human readable text.
     *
     * @source http://csl.name/php-secs-to-human-text/
     * @param $secs
     * @return string
     */
    static public function fromSecondsToHuman($secs){
        $units = array(
            "week"   => 7*24*3600,
            "day"    =>   24*3600,
            "hr"   =>      3600,
            "min" =>        60,
            //"second" =>         1,
        );

        // specifically handle zero
        if ( $secs < 60 ) return "0hr, 0mins";

        $s = "";

        foreach ( $units as $name => $divisor ) {
            if ( $quot = intval($secs / $divisor) ) {
                $s .= "$quot$name";
                $s .= (abs($quot) > 1 ? "s" : "") . ", ";
                $secs -= $quot * $divisor;
            }
        }

        return substr($s, 0, -2);
    }

    /**
     * -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     * Takes an input in bytes and returns it in a human readable format.
     * -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     *
     * @source http://jeffreysambells.com/2012/10/25/human-readable-filesize-php
     * @param int $bytes
     * @param int $decimals
     * @return string
     */
    static public function toHumanFileSize($bytes, $decimals = 2) {
        $size = array('B','kB','MB','GB','TB','PB','EB','ZB','YB');
        $factor = floor((strlen($bytes) - 1) / 3);
        return sprintf("%.{$decimals}f", $bytes / pow(1024, $factor)) . @$size[$factor];
    }

    /**
     * -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     * Takes a number and returns its ordinal suffix
     * -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     *
     * @source https://stackoverflow.com/questions/3109978/php-display-number-with-ordinal-suffix/3110033#3110033
     * @param int $number
     * @return string
     */
    static public function toOrdinalSuffix($number = null) {

        $ends = array('th','st','nd','rd','th','th','th','th','th','th');
        if (($number %100) >= 11 && ($number%100) <= 13)
            return $number. 'th';
        else
            return $ends[$number % 10];
    }

    /**
     * -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     * Takes an input number and returns it with the correct suffix for the decimal power
     * -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     *
     * @param int $input
     * @param int $precision
     * @return string
     */
    static public function withSuffix($input, $precision = 3)
    {
        $suffixes = array('', 'k', 'm', 'g', 't');
        $suffixIndex = 0;

        while(abs($input) >= 1000 && $suffixIndex < sizeof($suffixes))
        {
            $suffixIndex++;
            $input /= 1000;
        }

        return (
        $input > 0
            // precision of 3 decimal places
            ? floor($input * 1000) / 1000
            : ceil($input * 1000) / 1000
        )
        . $suffixes[$suffixIndex];
    }

    /**
     * -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     * Takes an integer input and returns the string representation of it (one = 1, thirty three = 33, etc)
     * I think this has a bug in it...
     * -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     *
     * @source http://stackoverflow.com/a/2112655/1225977
     * @param int $number
     * @return string
     */
    static public function numbersToLetters($number)
    {
        $result = array();
        $tens = floor($number / 10);
        $units = $number % 10;

        $words = array
        (
            'units' => array('', 'One', 'Two', 'Three', 'Four', 'Five', 'Six', 'Seven', 'Eight', 'Nine', 'Ten', 'Eleven', 'Twelve', 'Thirteen', 'Fourteen', 'Fifteen', 'Sixteen', 'Seventeen', 'Eightteen', 'Nineteen'),
            'tens' => array('', '', 'Twenty', 'Thirty', 'Fourty', 'Fifty', 'Sixty', 'Seventy', 'Eigthy', 'Ninety')
        );

        if ($tens < 2)
        {
            $result[] = $words['units'][$tens * 10 + $units];
        }

        else
        {
            $result[] = $words['tens'][$tens];

            if ($units > 0)
            {
                $result[count($result) - 1] .= '-' . $words['units'][$units];
            }
        }

        if (empty($result[0]))
        {
            $result[0] = 'Zero';
        }

        return trim(implode(' ', $result));
    }

    /**
     * -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     * Takes an input and replaces text smiles with image equivolents
     * -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     *
     * @param $string
     * @return mixed
     */
    static public function emoticons($string)
    {
        $iconDirectory = URL::to('assets/smiles');

        // Supported icons, this should be supplemented by the app config or something...
        $icons = array(
            'smile' => array(
                'matches' => array(
                    ':)',
                    ':-)',
                ),
                'replace' => '<img src="'. $iconDirectory .'/smile.png" alt="smile" class="smile icon_smile" />'
            ),
            'grin' => array(
                'matches' => array(
                    ':D',
                    ':-D',
                ),
                'replace' => '<img src="'. $iconDirectory .'/grin.png" alt="grin" class="smile icon_grin" />'
            ),
            'tongue' => array(
                'matches' => array(
                    ':p',
                    ':-p',
                    ':P',
                    ':-P'
                ),
                'replace' => '<img src="'. $iconDirectory .'/tongue.png" alt="tongue" class="smile icon_tongue" />'
            ),
            'sad' => array(
                'matches' => array(
                    ':(',
                    ':-('
                ),
                'replace' => '<img src="'. $iconDirectory .'/sad.png" alt="sad face" class="smile icon_sad" />'
            ),
            'wink' => array(
                'matches' => array(
                    ';)',
                    ';-)'
                ),
                'replace' => '<img src="'. $iconDirectory .'/wink.png" alt="wink" class="smile icon_wink" />'
            ),
            'confused' => array(
                'matches' => array(
                    ':s',
                    ':-s',
                    ';s',
                    ';-s'
                ),
                'replace' => '<img src="'. $iconDirectory .'/confused.png" alt="confused" class="smile icon_confused" />'
            ),
            'kwai' => array(
                'matches' => array(
                    ':3',
                    ':-3',
                ),
                'replace' => '<img src="'. $iconDirectory .'/kwai.png" alt="kwai" class="smile icon_kwai" />'
            ),

            'cool' => array(
                'matches' => array(
                    '8)',
                    '8-)',
                ),
                'replace' => '<img src="'. $iconDirectory .'/cool.png" alt="cool" class="smile icon_cool" />'
            ),

            'cry' => array(
                'matches' => array(
                    ':\'(',
                    ':\'-(',
                ),
                'replace' => '<img src="'. $iconDirectory .'/cry.png" alt="cry" class="smile icon_cry" />'
            ),
        );

        // Loop over icons and replace by mask
        // Does not match if at begining of string or end of a line with no space or nl
        foreach($icons as $iconGroup)
        {
            foreach ($iconGroup['matches'] as $mask)
            {
                $icon = preg_quote($mask);
                $string = preg_replace("~\s$icon\s~", $iconGroup['replace'], $string);
            }
        }

        // Return input with smiles replaced with images
        return $string;
    }

    static function w1250_to_utf8($text) {
        // map based on:
        // http://konfiguracja.c0.pl/iso02vscp1250en.html
        // http://konfiguracja.c0.pl/webpl/index_en.html#examp
        // http://www.htmlentities.com/html/entities/
        $map = array(
            chr(0x8A) => chr(0xA9),
            chr(0x8C) => chr(0xA6),
            chr(0x8D) => chr(0xAB),
            chr(0x8E) => chr(0xAE),
            chr(0x8F) => chr(0xAC),
            chr(0x9C) => chr(0xB6),
            chr(0x9D) => chr(0xBB),
            chr(0xA1) => chr(0xB7),
            chr(0xA5) => chr(0xA1),
            chr(0xBC) => chr(0xA5),
            chr(0x9F) => chr(0xBC),
            chr(0xB9) => chr(0xB1),
            chr(0x9A) => chr(0xB9),
            chr(0xBE) => chr(0xB5),
            chr(0x9E) => chr(0xBE),
            chr(0xFD) => '&yacute;',
            chr(0x80) => '&euro;',
            chr(0x82) => '&sbquo;',
            chr(0x84) => '&bdquo;',
            chr(0x85) => '&hellip;',
            chr(0x86) => '&dagger;',
            chr(0x87) => '&Dagger;',
            chr(0x89) => '&permil;',
            chr(0x8B) => '&lsaquo;',
            chr(0x91) => '&lsquo;',
            chr(0x92) => '&rsquo;',
            chr(0x93) => '&ldquo;',
            chr(0x94) => '&rdquo;',
            chr(0x95) => '&bull;',
            chr(0x96) => '&ndash;',
            chr(0x97) => '&mdash;',
            chr(0x99) => '&trade;',
            chr(0x9B) => '&rsquo;',
            chr(0xA6) => '&brvbar;',
            chr(0xA9) => '&copy;',
            chr(0xAB) => '&laquo;',
            chr(0xAE) => '&reg;',
            chr(0xB1) => '&plusmn;',
            chr(0xB5) => '&micro;',
            chr(0xB6) => '&para;',
            chr(0xB7) => '&middot;',
            chr(0xBB) => '&raquo;',
        );
        return html_entity_decode(mb_convert_encoding(strtr($text, $map), 'UTF-8', 'ISO-8859-2'), ENT_QUOTES, 'UTF-8');
    }


}