Leadership :: Speaking :: TED :: Talks :: Ideas :: Stop Asking Permission To Be Great

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Alternative Names

Stop Asking Permission To Be Great
Pattern Recognition
Incremental Progress
Polyglot
I was acting like a bitch
There's one or more relationships in your life that's holding you back
Your fear of being alone is holding back your success

Talk Structure

Tedx Talk

Cleaning up is the best time. Everybody smiling when it's time to go home.

I have 3 cups in my kitchen cabinet. I started out with 16; Where'd the other 13 cups go? I don't know where things went wrong.

I finally figured out how to deal with anyone. In any context and any situation.

Never hate. Be the least hateful person in every situation. If someone is doing better than me; well, congratulations.

I am devoted to holding myself accountable for becoming someone who is unapologetically self-aware. Hate is a lack of self-awareness. So, every move that I make; I make sure I make that move with self-awareness as the central mission in every step in the process.

What if we completely avoided ever having the need for a school shooter. For, everyone to realize, that if everybody's feelings were considered, in every situation, noone would ever feel left out.

Because, we secretly want to feel superior to at least one person. We don't ever want to be dead last. The school shooter is the one that is always dead last...in everything. Then, a bunch of people shits on them even more.

People act surprised when the school shooter does what they do.

What if there were no school shooters. Anywhere. The only reason there's ever a school shooter is because someone's getting shit on at school; and nobody notices. Or they pretend not to notice. Or, they kinda hate the kid a little bit too. They all collectively see this person hurting, and, nobody puts in the work to help this kid, and, they don't get together to fix it.

They talk about it as if it's no big deal. What if we all collectively noticed this kid and all collectively decided to help them. Why don't we do this? We don't do it because we're too busy to help someone else's kid.

We're too busy to care about this person's problems. We are too busy, trying to seem happy. We are too busy, buying things to be happy. We'd rather spend our time, buying things to impress each other to feel like a winner, instead of recognizing that being a winner is helping some kid that cannot help himself.

And anyway; we all secretly or not so secretly think to ourselves; Why should I spend time helping someone else? I'm barely making it myself.

If there's ever a school shooter, then, that means, enough people didn't bother trying to help. We are all OK watching someone else burn out; crash and burn. If someone else is sick; we pretend to care; sometimes we do, sometimes we don't. We have our own problems. It's easier to see when when I'm being honest with myself.

If someone starts falling off; there's usually nobody there to catch them. Partially, because people just don't care about other people. The closer the person is to us, the more we have to pretend to care. Sometimes it's hard to do it because, we don't want anyone to know we don't like someone close to us. We all pretend to be family-oriented, but, low-key, don't like too many of our family members. So, what makes any of us think it would be reasonable to care much about someone we don't even know if we treat our own family like that.

We waiting until the next school shooter to take out some random children that we love? We're all too busy until we feel the pain too.

We do the same thing out in the world. See people with no money...struggling. We mostly just ignore them completely. I finally realized though; what if I just took $5 dollars a month and divided it up.

That's why people come to comedy shows. Humans have realized that, they need to go to a special place, just to feel like it's ok to laugh.

I finally recognized that my own laziness was my worst enemy and that I should kill it at all costs. I finally realized that if I just killed my laziness and become someone who always over-delivers, I would reach my goal. I really only had one goal.

How do you have time to worry about what other people are doing with their body.

I'm not worried about what other people are doing with their own body; I don't have time. I'm trying to get paid...so I can be free one day.

Some of ya'll broker than me; how you got time to worry about this shit?

Nobody has any time... We're all busy, all the time.

Work, school, relationships. That's all we have time for, barely. Except, when there's an argument. Everybody has time to argue.

Permission Code

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If you're scrolling on instagram right now and you're watching all these advice videos; Most times, you don't need it because what most people are looking for is permission, not advice.

Because we already know what to do. The person who has the most context to your situation isn't the person on the screen but you who's watching it.

And so you know what you need to do. If you want to get in shape, you probably know you should lift some weights eat a little bit less crap right? Move around more.

You probably know the things to do but we delay the first action; and so one of the best pieces of advice I ever got was, "take my own advice".

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The most important skills the formal education system doesn't teach us