gistfile1.txt

out = File.open("/tmp/dougalisms", "w")

(1..50).to_a.each { | ism_id |
	system ("curl dougalisms.com/#{ism_id} > /tmp/dougalism#{ism_id}")
	
	if File.exists?("/tmp/dougalism#{ism_id}") then
		
  		f = File.open("/tmp/dougalism#{ism_id}", "r")
      	while (line = f.gets) do
          	if line =~ /8e8e8e/ and not line =~ /refresh for more/ then
          		out.puts "Dougalism #{ism_id}: #{line}".gsub(/<\/?[^>]*>/, "")
          	end
      	end
      	
      	File.delete("/tmp/dougalism#{ism_id}")
	end
	
}

out.close()


#Dougalism 1: 	""
#Dougalism 2: 	""
#Dougalism 3: 	""
#Dougalism 4: 	""
#Dougalism 5: 	"every time i wake up from a dream in which my dad and i are engaged in a gunfight, i want to buy a gun that day"
#Dougalism 6: 	"i only write my really awesome ideas here when i?m extremely stoned"
#Dougalism 7: 	"it's my job to think up crazy shit and engineers' job to make them happen"
#Dougalism 8: 	""
#Dougalism 9: 	""
#Dougalism 10: 	"awwww rolled the hell out of me and rolled my girlfriend over in her sleep due to sound"
#Dougalism 11: 	"hardware guys smell weird. they only exist so that software people can do their work. like night janitors."
#Dougalism 12: 	"my next car is going to have a retractable hood ornament"
#Dougalism 13: 	"yeah, probably one of those conversations where you are talking about making huge fires. which is like all the time."
#Dougalism 14: 	&lt;dougal&gt; had an oil change and coolant change in a red lobster parking lot in rapid city south dakota a few hours before g&lt;dougal&gt; just before dawn
#Dougalism 15: 	"that's totally going to be my oil changing hat"
#Dougalism 16: 	"wtf, there are 8 dougalisms now? what the fuck has someone been saving shit from the past i've said?"
#Dougalism 17: 	"the speed i run sim city at, disasters would occur every 3 minutes"
#&lt;dougal&gt; and give me a hyper accurate tattood an awesome idea
#Dougalism 19: 	&lt;dougal&gt; you need to schedule like a s67 social hour and nerd speed dating program where participants swipe RFIDs on each &lt;dougal&gt; and if the score exceeds some compatibility threshold, the scanner will beep and those two people are expected to go over into the russian tea chamber and make love
#Dougalism 20: 	"everybody knows my apartment is too small to take hostages"
#Dougalism 21: 	"flatt cola? that's either a joke or the worst brand name of all time"
#&lt;dougal&gt; (or explodes) the box it's triggered and starts to bake a cupcake
#&lt;dougal&gt; it just makes me visualize little amy men coming up with machine guns and blowing the kittens away while KMFDM jams from atop a nearby tank
#Dougalism 24: 	"the roof is on fire, but i heard this song and learned if that happens, you must let that mother fucker burn"
#Dougalism 25: 	"you're sacrificing a glorious career in mechanical whateverthefuck for the glamorous life of hanging out with dorks in a shed"
#Dougalism 26: 	&lt;dougal&gt; my business partner was a CS major though, but he also majored in Art at the same time, so he is one weird fuckin&lt;dougal&gt; you can see him in his Kia Spectra rocking out to Norwegian death metal he is Norwegian
#Dougalism 27: 	"all the lurkers here are just waiting for me to say something idiotic so they can put it on dougalisms.com"
#&lt;dougal&gt; hack space gibsonswould really love to ssh to a computer on a satellite or on the space station
#Dougalism 29: 	"i wonder how much it would cost to have my nipples re-located?"
#Dougalism 30: 	"yeah it seems like it wouldn't be too hard. maybe i can try it. i'll get all drunk and scrape it off with an x-acto knife, open a patch on the left side, put some mayonaise on it, and duct tape it on"
#Dougalism 31: 	"if i rub an aborted fetus on it, would that suffice?"
#Dougalism 32: 	"do you think it would help a woman get pregnant if i had sex with her during a skydive fall?"
#Dougalism 33: 	"when i become international cosmic rock star supergod idol supreme, i'm going to release a line of sunglasses that allow other people to see your eyes, but allow you to see nothing at all"
#Dougalism 34: 	"holy fuck i just remembered that breasts exist"
#Dougalism 35: 	""
#Dougalism 36: 	""
#Dougalism 37: 	""
#Dougalism 38: 	""
#Dougalism 39: 	""
#Dougalism 40: 	""
#Dougalism 41: 	""
#Dougalism 42: 	""
#Dougalism 43: 	""
#Dougalism 44: 	""
#Dougalism 45: 	""
#Dougalism 46: 	""
#Dougalism 47: 	""
#Dougalism 48: 	""
#Dougalism 49: 	""
#Dougalism 50: 	""