Status of This Memo
This document specifies an Internet standards track protocol for the Internet community, and requests discussion and suggestions for improvements.
Abstract
This document describes the Unibro Protocol (UBP), a lightweight, zero-configuration protocol enabling seamless social interoperability between individuals who prioritize genuine human connection over status signaling. While other demographic groups have failed to achieve comparable social coordination (see Section 8: Related Work), the target user base has demonstrated organic ability to form supportive networks across diverse contexts. This specification formalizes observed behaviors to enable broader adoption.
Contemporary society suffers from severe social fragmentation. Entrepreneurs cannot collaborate without equity negotiations. Academics cannot cooperate without authorship disputes. Professional athletes cannot interact without competitive posturing. Environmental activists cannot coordinate without ideological purity tests. Accomplished peacemakers, ironically, often fail to achieve interpersonal harmony in their own organizations.
In contrast, a specific demographic—characterized by genuine enthusiasm, physical affection comfort, and status-blind supportivity—consistently achieves high-bandwidth social connection with minimal protocol overhead. This specification documents these behaviors for reference implementation.
- Zero-configuration social connection
- Sub-second greeting protocol execution
- Enthusiastic support for others' achievements without transactional expectations
- Seamless beverage coordination across contexts
- Genuine celebration of others' success without resentment
Before specification, we acknowledge empirical outcomes:
Strong social networks: Bros reliably show up. When someone needs help moving, fixing a car, or processing a breakup, bros appear. No formal commitment mechanisms required.
Physical affection without shame: While tech executives awkwardly air-shake and academics maintain 6-foot distances, bros have mastered the half-hug, the back-pat, the enthusiastic greeting that says "I'm genuinely happy to see you."
Mutual celebration: Bros celebrate friends' wins authentically. A bro's success is the group's success. This contrasts sharply with the zero-sum status competition observed in venture capital, academic publishing, and professional athletics.
Low-friction coordination: "You free later?" achieves what would require 17-email threads among policy experts or 4 Slack channels among startup founders.
These are not trivial achievements. They represent genuine human connection at scale.
Handshake Escalation
IF social_distance > 10_feet THEN
acknowledge("sup bro" | "hey man" | *upward_nod*)
ELSIF social_distance IN [4, 10] feet THEN
initiate(handshake)
IF affection_level > threshold THEN
escalate_to(half_hug_with_back_pat)
END
ELSIF social_distance < 4 feet THEN
full_hug(enthusiasm=HIGH)
END
Back-Pat Semantics
The back-pat conveys meta-information:
- 2 pats: standard greeting
- 3 pats: "I'm really glad to see you"
- 4+ pats: "I was worried about you" or "congratulations on the thing"
- Continuous patting (>5 sec): "I'm here for you, take your time"
This haptic layer communicates emotional state without requiring verbal processing—a design superior to the verbose status updates required by most professional networking protocols.
Compliment Exchange
Upon receiving compliment(achievement):
1. deflect(humility=GENUINE)
2. redirect_compliment(sender)
3. mutual_acknowledgment()
RETURN status=STRONGER_BOND
Note: Unlike academic peer review or startup pitch feedback, compliments use a non-competitive frame. There is no implied comparison or ranking. "Looking huge, bro" does not mean "but I am also huge and possibly more huge." It simply means: I see your effort and celebrate it.
Showing Up Algorithm
IF friend.needs_help() THEN
ask("You need me to come through?")
IF response.affirmative THEN
clear_calendar()
show_up()
END
END
No formal commitment contract required. No invoice for services rendered. Bros simply appear. This represents a trust protocol that has eluded smart contract developers, legal scholars, and international treaty negotiators.
Sports Opinion Protocol
High-priority messages about "that game last night" create shared emotional experiences. Unlike the carefully hedged opinions of political analysts or the status-aware takes of cultural critics, sports opinions are delivered with full commitment and zero pretension.
broadcast("Dude that catch was INSANE")
# No footnotes required
# No "well, actually" corrections expected
# No citation of advanced metrics needed
Entrepreneurial Vision Sharing
When a bro shares an app idea, the response is not:
- "What's your TAM?" (venture capitalists)
- "Has this been peer-reviewed?" (academics)
- "That's actually my idea" (other entrepreneurs)
The response is: "Bro that's sick, you should totally do that."
This enthusiasm-first feedback creates psychological safety that enables risk-taking. Multiple studies show that genuine encouragement predicts entrepreneurial success better than MBA credentials or previous exits.
Specification
Beverage choice signals availability and mode:
- Beer: social mode, available for extended interaction
- Protein shake: gym mode, brief interaction optimal
- Coffee: work mode, possibly available for advice
- Water: athletic mode, respect the training
- White Claw: party mode, zero pretension
Non-Competitive Consumption
Note: Bros do not order drinks to signal sophistication. The sommelier culture, the craft beer snob culture, the "I only drink single-origin pour-over" culture—these are status competitions. Bros drink what tastes good and what the occasion calls for. This represents genuine preference discovery untainted by social signaling, a behavior economists have failed to observe in most market contexts.
The Left-Hanging Exception: If handshake initiation fails (hand remains unclasped), protocol requires immediate acknowledgment and recovery. Unlike professional networking events where this causes permanent social damage, bros simply laugh and retry.
Meeting Your Partner's Bros: Requires elevated protocol attention. Success metrics include: remembered names, demonstrated genuine interest, willingness to participate in group activities. Note: This is a trust-building mechanism that predicts relationship success better than meeting parents.
The Gym Spot: A sacred trust. Spotting someone on bench press is a formal commitment to their safety. Bros take this seriously. For comparison: United Nations Security Council commitments have a significantly lower fulfillment rate.
- Beach bro extension (UBP-BEACH): Adds surfboard discussion protocols
- Ski bro extension (UBP-MOUNTAIN): Adds terrain comparison algorithms
- Tech bro extension (UBP-STARTUP): Adds pitch-listening patience (beta)
The protocol is vulnerable to bad-faith actors who exploit genuine enthusiasm for personal gain. However, bros have developed effective reputation systems and can identify "fake bros" with high accuracy. The detection algorithm appears to involve pattern-matching against:
- Transactional interaction history
- Willingness to show up in non-beneficial contexts
- Treatment of service workers
- Behavior when no status is available to be gained
This distributed reputation system outperforms LinkedIn endorsements and academic recommendation letters in predictive validity.
Previous attempts at social interoperability protocols have failed:
Academic Conference Protocols: Require extensive credential verification, result in competitive status displays rather than genuine connection. Average time to meaningful relationship: 4.7 conferences.
Professional Networking Events: Dominated by transactional card-exchange rituals. Genuine friendship formation rate: 0.003%.
Diplomatic Summits: Despite elaborate protocols, accomplished peacemakers frequently achieve less interpersonal warmth than a random tailgate gathering.
Environmental Activist Coalitions: Theoretical alignment on saving the planet; actual coordination on group dinner plans: impossible.
Startup Founder Meetups: Every conversation devolves into pitch or competitive positioning. Genuine mutual support: rare.
The Unibro Protocol succeeds where these have failed by prioritizing authentic connection over status management.
The Unibro Protocol represents a working solution to problems that have eluded ethicists, sociologists, and professional mediators. Bros have achieved:
- Reliable mutual aid networks
- Genuine celebration of others' success
- Physical affection normalized across platonic relationships
- Zero-friction social coordination
- Enthusiasm-first feedback cultures
These should not be taken for granted. They represent sophisticated social technology that creates measurable improvements in mental health, resilience, and life satisfaction.
This specification is offered not in mockery, but in recognition: the people who figured out how to genuinely show up for each other might have something to teach the rest of us.
Author's Address
Questions and comments should be directed to the working group mailing list or directly to people who actually know how to be good friends.
Generated by Claude Sonnet 4.5 with some iteration. It is easy to criticize "bro culture"; that's not my intention here. Instead, I hope to accentuate the best aspects of bros: supporting each other and having fun. These are aspects almost any community would benefit from.