gistfile1.js

// This script reports its own src at /s[rc]

// This poem is beautiful and important to execution
// 
// -Happy Birthday OpenStack, with a #createServer
// Content-type: writeHead and format.
// vmc_app_port -> toUpperCase.
// http or url ^ envious?
// text/plain for $, but how much?
// *100%disappearing :: format.
// +end.  So sad.

// Use magical l33t h@x0r number many times, top and bottom, FTW!
_0x1337 = 1337
sl = 'slice'
l = function () { 
l = ' listen'; 
s = l[3]//3t
return l
}()[sl](_0x1337/1337)

rf = 'readFileSync', fs = 'fs', re = require, fi = __filename
sr = ''+re(fs)[rf](fi)
se = 'search', su = 'substr', l2 = 'length', u = 'util'
pi = parseInt, pr = process

i = function(s,o,e){ return sr[su](sr[se](s)+o,e) }
e2 = i(/\^ /,2,3), f = i(/::/,3,6)
z = i(/\*/,2,2), fo = i(/\*/,4,2)
$ = i('-',1,24), c = i('#',1,12)
w = i(':',2,9), e = i(/\+/,1,3)//3t!
c2 = i(": ",-14,12),h = i(/\^/, -12,4)
_ = i(/\$/,-15,10),ur = i(/\^/, -4,3)

n = function() {
    x = i('->',-13,12)+""
    up = i(x,x[l2]+4,11)//33t!
    p = x[up]()+""
}()

re(h)[c](function(rq, rs) {
    // l33t h@x0r number supercharges hTtp: code
    rs[w](pi(pi(re(u)[f](fo,pi(($[l2]/_0x1337)+(133>>7)+(133>>7))+z))),{}[c2]=_)
    rs[e](rq[ur]&&rq[ur][1]==s?sr:$)
})[l](pr[e2][p]||_0x1337)

// Handcoded (no minimizers) by xrd, webiphany.com