- A Gypsy curse. If you know what I mean...
- A moment of silence. If you know what I mean...
- A sausage festival. If you know what I mean...
- An honest cop with nothing left to lose. If you know what I mean...
- Famine. If you know what I mean...
- Flesh-eating bacteria. If you know what I mean...
- Flying sex snakes. If you know what I mean...
- Not giving a shit about the Third World. If you know what I mean...
- Sexting. If you know what I mean...
- Shapeshifters. If you know what I mean...
- Porn stars. If you know what I mean...
- 72 virgins. If you know what I mean...
- A drive-by shooting. If you know what I mean...
- A time travel paradox. If you know what I mean...
- Authentic Mexican cuisine. If you know what I mean...
- Bling. If you know what I mean...
- Consultants. If you know what I mean...
- Crippling debt. If you know what I mean...
- Daddy issues. If you know what I mean...
- The Donald Trump Seal of Approval™. If you know what I mean...
- Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up. If you know what I mean...
- Former President George W. Bush. If you know what I mean...
- Full frontal nudity. If you know what I mean...
- Hormone injections. If you know what I mean...
- Laying an egg. If you know what I mean...
- Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon. If you know what I mean...
- Pretending to care. If you know what I mean...
- Public ridicule. If you know what I mean...
- Sharing needles. If you know what I mean...
- Boogers. If you know what I mean...
- The inevitable heat death of the universe. If you know what I mean...
- The miracle of childbirth. If you know what I mean...
- The Rapture. If you know what I mean...
- Whipping it out. If you know what I mean...
- White privilege. If you know what I mean...
- Wifely duties. If you know what I mean...
- The Hamburglar. If you know what I mean...
- AXE Body Spray. If you know what I mean...
- The Blood of Christ. If you know what I mean...
- Horrifying laser hair removal accidents. If you know what I mean...
- BATMAN!!! If you know what I mean...
- Agriculture. If you know what I mean...
- A robust mongoloid. If you know what I mean...
- Natural selection. If you know what I mean...
- Coat hanger abortions. If you know what I mean...
- Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale. If you know what I mean...
- Michelle Obama's arms. If you know what I mean...
- The World of Warcraft. If you know what I mean...
- Swooping. If you know what I mean...
- Obesity. If you know what I mean...
- A homoerotic volleyball montage. If you know what I mean...
- Lockjaw. If you know what I mean...
- A mating display. If you know what I mean...
- Testicular torsion. If you know what I mean...
- All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99. If you know what I mean...
- Domino's™ Oreo™ Dessert Pizza. If you know what I mean...
- Kanye West. If you know what I mean...
- Hot cheese. If you know what I mean...
- Raptor attacks. If you know what I mean...
- Taking off your shirt. If you know what I mean...
- Smegma. If you know what I mean...
- Alcoholism. If you know what I mean...
- A middle-aged man on roller skates. If you know what I mean...
- The Care Bear Stare. If you know what I mean...
- Bingeing and purging. If you know what I mean...
- Oversized lollipops. If you know what I mean...
- Self-loathing. If you know what I mean...
- Children on leashes. If you know what I mean...
- Half-assed foreplay. If you know what I mean...
- The Holy Bible. If you know what I mean...
- German dungeon porn. If you know what I mean...
- Being on fire. If you know what I mean...
- Teenage pregnancy. If you know what I mean...
- Gandhi. If you know what I mean...
- Leaving an awkward voicemail. If you know what I mean...
- Uppercuts. If you know what I mean...
- Customer service representatives. If you know what I mean...
- An erection that lasts longer than four hours. If you know what I mean...
- My genitals. If you know what I mean...
- Picking up girls at the abortion clinic. If you know what I mean...
- Science. If you know what I mean...
- Not reciprocating oral sex. If you know what I mean...
- Flightless birds. If you know what I mean...
- A good sniff. If you know what I mean...
- Waterboarding. If you know what I mean...
- A balanced breakfast. If you know what I mean...
- Historically black colleges. If you know what I mean...
- Actually taking candy from a baby. If you know what I mean...
- The Make-A-Wish Foundation. If you know what I mean...
- A clandestine butt scratch. If you know what I mean...
- Passive-aggressive Post-it notes. If you know what I mean...
- The Chinese gymnastics team. If you know what I mean...
- Switching to Geico. If you know what I mean...
- Peeing a little bit. If you know what I mean...
- Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine. If you know what I mean...
- Nocturnal emissions. If you know what I mean...
- The Jews. If you know what I mean...
- My humps. If you know what I mean...
- Powerful thighs. If you know what I mean...
- Winking at old people. If you know what I mean...
- Mr. Clean, right behind you. If you know what I mean...
- A gentle caress of the inner thigh. If you know what I mean...
- Sexual tension. If you know what I mean...
- The forbidden fruit. If you know what I mean...
- Skeletor. If you know what I mean...
- Fancy Feast. If you know what I mean...
- Being rich. If you know what I mean...
- Sweet, sweet vengeance. If you know what I mean...
- Republicans. If you know what I mean...
- A gassy antelope. If you know what I mean...
- Natalie Portman. If you know what I mean...
- Copping a feel. If you know what I mean...
- Kamikaze pilots. If you know what I mean...
- Sean Connery. If you know what I mean...
- The homosexual agenda. If you know what I mean...
- The hardworking Mexican. If you know what I mean...
- A falcon with a cap on its head. If you know what I mean...
- Altar boys. If you know what I mean...
- The Kool-Aid Man. If you know what I mean...
- Getting so angry that you pop a boner. If you know what I mean...
- Free samples. If you know what I mean...
- A big hoopla about nothing. If you know what I mean...
- Doing the right thing. If you know what I mean...
- The Three-Fifths compromise. If you know what I mean...
- Lactation. If you know what I mean...
- World peace. If you know what I mean...
- RoboCop. If you know what I mean...
- Chutzpah. If you know what I mean...
- Justin Bieber. If you know what I mean...
- Oompa-Loompas. If you know what I mean...
- Inappropriate yodeling. If you know what I mean...
- Puberty. If you know what I mean...
- Ghosts. If you know what I mean...
- An asymmetric boob job. If you know what I mean...
- Vigorous jazz hands. If you know what I mean...
- Fingering. If you know what I mean...
- Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook. If you know what I mean...
- GoGurt. If you know what I mean...
- Police brutality. If you know what I mean...
- John Wilkes Booth. If you know what I mean...
- Preteens. If you know what I mean...
- Scalping. If you know what I mean...
- Stifling a giggle at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis. If you know what I mean...
- "Tweeting." If you know what I mean...
- Darth Vader. If you know what I mean...
- A sad handjob. If you know what I mean...
- Exactly what you'd expect. If you know what I mean...
- Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor. If you know what I mean...
- Adderall™. If you know what I mean...
- Embryonic stem cells. If you know what I mean...
- Tasteful sideboob. If you know what I mean...
- Panda sex. If you know what I mean...
- An icepick lobotomy. If you know what I mean...
- Tom Cruise. If you know what I mean...
- Mouth herpes. If you know what I mean...
- Sperm whales. If you know what I mean...
- Homeless people. If you know what I mean...
- Third base. If you know what I mean...
- Incest. If you know what I mean...
- Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum. If you know what I mean...
- A mime having a stroke. If you know what I mean...
- Hulk Hogan. If you know what I mean...
- God. If you know what I mean...
- Scrubbing under the folds. If you know what I mean...
- Golden showers. If you know what I mean...
- Emotions. If you know what I mean...
- Licking things to claim them as your own. If you know what I mean...
- Pabst Blue Ribbon. If you know what I mean...
- The placenta. If you know what I mean...
- Spontaneous human combustion. If you know what I mean...
- Friends with benefits. If you know what I mean...
- Finger painting. If you know what I mean...
- Old-people smell. If you know what I mean...
- Dying of dysentery. If you know what I mean...
- My inner demons. If you know what I mean...
- A Super Soaker™ full of cat pee. If you know what I mean...
- Aaron Burr. If you know what I mean...
- Cuddling. If you know what I mean...
- The chronic. If you know what I mean...
- Cockfights. If you know what I mean...
- Friendly fire. If you know what I mean...
- Ronald Reagan. If you know what I mean...
- A disappointing birthday party. If you know what I mean...
- A sassy black woman. If you know what I mean...
- Mathletes. If you know what I mean...
- A tiny horse. If you know what I mean...
- William Shatner. If you know what I mean...
- Riding off into the sunset. If you know what I mean...
- An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist. If you know what I mean...
- Jew-fros. If you know what I mean...
- Mutually-assured destruction. If you know what I mean...
- Pedophiles. If you know what I mean...
- Yeast. If you know what I mean...
- Grave robbing. If you know what I mean...
- Eating the last known bison. If you know what I mean...
- Catapults. If you know what I mean...
- Poor people. If you know what I mean...
- Forgetting the Alamo. If you know what I mean...
- The Hustle. If you know what I mean...
- The Force. If you know what I mean...
- Wiping her butt. If you know what I mean...
- Intelligent design. If you know what I mean...
- Loose lips. If you know what I mean...
- AIDS. If you know what I mean...
- Pictures of boobs. If you know what I mean...
- The Übermensch. If you know what I mean...
- Sarah Palin. If you know what I mean...
- American Gladiators. If you know what I mean...
- Getting really high. If you know what I mean...
- Scientology. If you know what I mean...
- Penis envy. If you know what I mean...
- Praying the gay away. If you know what I mean...
- Frolicking. If you know what I mean...
- Two midgets shitting into a bucket. If you know what I mean...
- The KKK. If you know what I mean...
- Genghis Khan. If you know what I mean...
- Crystal meth. If you know what I mean...
- Serfdom. If you know what I mean...
- Stranger danger. If you know what I mean...
- A Bop It™. If you know what I mean...
- Shaquille O'Neal's acting career. If you know what I mean...
- Prancing. If you know what I mean...
- Vigilante justice. If you know what I mean...
- Overcompensation. If you know what I mean...
- Pixelated bukkake. If you know what I mean...
- A lifetime of sadness. If you know what I mean...
- Racism. If you know what I mean...
- Dwarf tossing. If you know what I mean...
- Sunshine and rainbows. If you know what I mean...
- A monkey smoking a cigar. If you know what I mean...
- Flash flooding. If you know what I mean...
- Lance Armstrong's missing testicle. If you know what I mean...
- Dry heaving. If you know what I mean...
- The terrorists. If you know what I mean...
- Britney Spears at 55. If you know what I mean...
- Attitude. If you know what I mean...
- Breaking out into song and dance. If you know what I mean...
- Leprosy. If you know what I mean...
- Gloryholes. If you know what I mean...
- Nipple blades. If you know what I mean...
- The heart of a child. If you know what I mean...
- Puppies! If you know what I mean...
- Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot. If you know what I mean...
- Dental dams. If you know what I mean...
- Toni Morrison's vagina. If you know what I mean...
- The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge. If you know what I mean...
- Active listening. If you know what I mean...
- Ethnic cleansing. If you know what I mean...
- The Little Engine That Could. If you know what I mean...
- The invisible hand. If you know what I mean...
- Waiting ‘til marriage. If you know what I mean...
- Unfathomable stupidity. If you know what I mean...
- Euphoria™ by Calvin Klein. If you know what I mean...
- Re-gifting. If you know what I mean...
- Autocannibalism. If you know what I mean...
- Erectile dysfunction. If you know what I mean...
- My collection of high-tech sex toys. If you know what I mean...
- The Pope. If you know what I mean...
- White people. If you know what I mean...
- Tentacle porn. If you know what I mean...
- Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts. If you know what I mean...
- Too much hair gel. If you know what I mean...
- Seppuku. If you know what I mean...
- Same-sex ice dancing. If you know what I mean...
- Cheating in the Special Olympics. If you know what I mean...
- Charisma. If you know what I mean...
- Keanu Reeves. If you know what I mean...
- Sean Penn. If you know what I mean...
- Nickelback. If you know what I mean...
- A look-see. If you know what I mean...
- Pooping back and forth. Forever. If you know what I mean...
- Menstruation. If you know what I mean...
- Kids with ass cancer. If you know what I mean...
- A salty surprise. If you know what I mean...
- The South. If you know what I mean...
- The violation of our most basic human rights. If you know what I mean...
- YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS. If you know what I mean...
- Being fabulous. If you know what I mean...
- Necrophilia. If you know what I mean...
- Centaurs. If you know what I mean...
- Bill Nye the Science Guy. If you know what I mean...
- Black people. If you know what I mean...
- Chivalry. If you know what I mean...
- Lunchables™. If you know what I mean...
- Bitches. If you know what I mean...
- The profoundly handicapped. If you know what I mean...
- Heartwarming orphans. If you know what I mean...
- MechaHitler. If you know what I mean...
- Fiery poops. If you know what I mean...
- Another goddamn vampire movie. If you know what I mean...
- Tangled Slinkys. If you know what I mean...
- The true meaning of Christmas. If you know what I mean...
- Estrogen. If you know what I mean...
- A zesty breakfast burrito. If you know what I mean...
- That thing that electrocutes your abs. If you know what I mean...
- Passing a kidney stone. If you know what I mean...
- A bleached asshole. If you know what I mean...
- Michael Jackson. If you know what I mean...
- Cybernetic enhancements. If you know what I mean...
- Guys who don't call. If you know what I mean...
- Smallpox blankets. If you know what I mean...
- Masturbation. If you know what I mean...
- Classist undertones. If you know what I mean...
- Queefing. If you know what I mean...
- Concealing a boner. If you know what I mean...
- Edible underpants. If you know what I mean...
- Viagra. If you know what I mean...
- Soup that is too hot. If you know what I mean...
- Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him). If you know what I mean...
- Surprise sex! If you know what I mean...
- Five-Dollar Footlongs™. If you know what I mean...
- Drinking alone. If you know what I mean...
- Dick fingers. If you know what I mean...
- Multiple stab wounds. If you know what I mean...
- Soiling oneself. If you know what I mean...
- Child abuse. If you know what I mean...
- Anal beads. If you know what I mean...
- Civilian casualties. If you know what I mean...
- Pulling out. If you know what I mean...
- Robert Downey, Jr. If you know what I mean...
- Horse meat. If you know what I mean...
- A really cool hat. If you know what I mean...
- Kim Jong-il. If you know what I mean...
- A stray pube. If you know what I mean...
- Jewish fraternities. If you know what I mean...
- The token minority. If you know what I mean...
- Doin' it in the butt. If you know what I mean...
- Feeding Rosie O'Donnell. If you know what I mean...
- Teaching a robot to love. If you know what I mean...
- A can of whoop-ass. If you know what I mean...
- A windmill full of corpses. If you know what I mean...
- Count Chocula. If you know what I mean...
- Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry. If you know what I mean...
- A death ray. If you know what I mean...
- The glass ceiling. If you know what I mean...
- A cooler full of organs. If you know what I mean...
- The American Dream. If you know what I mean...
- Keg stands. If you know what I mean...
- When you fart and a little bit comes out. If you know what I mean...
- Take-backsies. If you know what I mean...
- Dead babies. If you know what I mean...
- Foreskin. If you know what I mean...
- Saxophone solos. If you know what I mean...
- Italians. If you know what I mean...
- A fetus. If you know what I mean...
- Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog. If you know what I mean...
- Dick Cheney. If you know what I mean...
- Amputees. If you know what I mean...
- Eugenics. If you know what I mean...
- My relationship status. If you know what I mean...
- Christopher Walken. If you know what I mean...
- Bees? If you know what I mean...
- Harry Potter erotica. If you know what I mean...
- College. If you know what I mean...
- Getting drunk on mouthwash. If you know what I mean...
- Nazis. If you know what I mean...
- 8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin. If you know what I mean...
- Stephen Hawking talking dirty. If you know what I mean...
- Dead parents. If you know what I mean...
- Object permanence. If you know what I mean...
- Opposable thumbs. If you know what I mean...
- Racially-biased SAT questions. If you know what I mean...
- Jibber-jabber. If you know what I mean...
- Chainsaws for hands. If you know what I mean...
- Nicolas Cage. If you know what I mean...
- Child beauty pageants. If you know what I mean...
- Explosions. If you know what I mean...
- Sniffing glue. If you know what I mean...
- Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards. If you know what I mean...
- Repression. If you know what I mean...
- Roofies. If you know what I mean...
- My vagina. If you know what I mean...
- Assless chaps. If you know what I mean...
- A murder most foul. If you know what I mean...
- Giving 110 percent. If you know what I mean...
- Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II. If you know what I mean...
- The Trail of Tears. If you know what I mean...
- Being marginalized. If you know what I mean...
- Goblins. If you know what I mean...
- Hope. If you know what I mean...
- The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. If you know what I mean...
- A micropenis. If you know what I mean...
- My soul. If you know what I mean...
- A hot mess. If you know what I mean...
- Vikings. If you know what I mean...
- Hot people. If you know what I mean...
- Seduction. If you know what I mean...
- An Oedipus complex. If you know what I mean...
- Geese. If you know what I mean...
- Global warming. If you know what I mean...
- New Age music. If you know what I mean...
- Hot Pockets. If you know what I mean...
- Making a pouty face. If you know what I mean...
- Vehicular manslaughter. If you know what I mean...
- Women's suffrage. If you know what I mean...
- A defective condom. If you know what I mean...
- Judge Judy. If you know what I mean...
- African children. If you know what I mean...
- The Virginia Tech Massacre. If you know what I mean...
- Barack Obama. If you know what I mean...
- Asians who aren't good at math. If you know what I mean...
- Elderly Japanese men. If you know what I mean...
- Exchanging pleasantries. If you know what I mean...
- Heteronormativity. If you know what I mean...
- Parting the Red Sea. If you know what I mean...
- Arnold Schwarzenegger. If you know what I mean...
- Road head. If you know what I mean...
- Spectacular abs. If you know what I mean...
- Figgy pudding. If you know what I mean...
- A mopey zoo lion. If you know what I mean...
- A bag of magic beans. If you know what I mean...
- Poor life choices. If you know what I mean...
- My sex life. If you know what I mean...
- Auschwitz. If you know what I mean...
- A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis. If you know what I mean...
- A thermonuclear detonation. If you know what I mean...
- The clitoris. If you know what I mean...
- The Big Bang. If you know what I mean...
- Land mines. If you know what I mean...
- Friends who eat all the snacks. If you know what I mean...
- Goats eating cans. If you know what I mean...
- The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. If you know what I mean...
- Jerking off into a pool of children's tears. If you know what I mean...
- Man meat. If you know what I mean...
- Me time. If you know what I mean...
- The Underground Railroad. If you know what I mean...
- Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes. If you know what I mean...
- A sea of troubles. If you know what I mean...
- Lumberjack fantasies. If you know what I mean...
- Morgan Freeman's voice. If you know what I mean...
- Women in yogurt commercials. If you know what I mean...
- Natural male enhancement. If you know what I mean...
- Being a motherfucking sorcerer. If you know what I mean...
- Genital piercings. If you know what I mean...
- Passable transvestites. If you know what I mean...
- Sexy pillow fights. If you know what I mean...
- Balls. If you know what I mean...
- Grandma. If you know what I mean...
- Friction. If you know what I mean...
- Party poopers. If you know what I mean...
- Farting and walking away. If you know what I mean...
- Being a dick to children. If you know what I mean...
- Booby-trapping the house to foil burglars. If you know what I mean...
- The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System™. If you know what I mean...
- Dying. If you know what I mean...
- Hurricane Katrina. If you know what I mean...
- The gays. If you know what I mean...
- The folly of man. If you know what I mean...
- Men. If you know what I mean...
- The Amish. If you know what I mean...
- Pterodactyl eggs. If you know what I mean...
- Team-building exercises. If you know what I mean...
- A brain tumor. If you know what I mean...
- Cards Against Humanity. If you know what I mean...
- Fear itself. If you know what I mean...
- Lady Gaga. If you know what I mean...
- The milk man. If you know what I mean...
- A foul mouth. If you know what I mean...
- A big black dick. If you know what I mean...
- A beached whale. If you know what I mean...
- A bloody pacifier. If you know what I mean...
- A crappy little hand. If you know what I mean...
- A low standard of living. If you know what I mean...
- A nuanced critique. If you know what I mean...
- Panty raids. If you know what I mean...
- A passionate Latino lover. If you know what I mean...
- A rival dojo. If you know what I mean...
- A web of lies. If you know what I mean...
- A woman scorned. If you know what I mean...
- Clams. If you know what I mean...
- Apologizing. If you know what I mean...
- Appreciative snapping. If you know what I mean...
- Neil Patrick Harris. If you know what I mean...
- Beating your wives. If you know what I mean...
- Being a dinosaur. If you know what I mean...
- Shaft. If you know what I mean...
- Bosnian chicken farmers. If you know what I mean...
- Nubile slave boys. If you know what I mean...
- Carnies. If you know what I mean...
- Coughing into a vagina. If you know what I mean...
- Suicidal thoughts. If you know what I mean...
- Dancing with a broom. If you know what I mean...
- Deflowering the princess. If you know what I mean...
- Dorito breath. If you know what I mean...
- Eating an albino. If you know what I mean...
- Enormous Scandinavian women. If you know what I mean...
- Fabricating statistics. If you know what I mean...
- Finding a skeleton. If you know what I mean...
- Gandalf. If you know what I mean...
- Genetically engineered super-soldiers. If you know what I mean...
- George Clooney's musk. If you know what I mean...
- Getting abducted by Peter Pan. If you know what I mean...
- Getting in her pants, politely. If you know what I mean...
- Gladiatorial combat. If you know what I mean...
- Good grammar. If you know what I mean...
- Hipsters. If you know what I mean...
- Historical revisionism. If you know what I mean...
- Insatiable bloodlust. If you know what I mean...
- Jafar. If you know what I mean...
- Jean-Claude Van Damme. If you know what I mean...
- Just the tip. If you know what I mean...
- Mad hacky-sack skills. If you know what I mean...
- Leveling up. If you know what I mean...
- Literally eating shit. If you know what I mean...
- Making the penises kiss. If you know what I mean...
- Media coverage. If you know what I mean...
- Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament. If you know what I mean...
- Moral ambiguity. If you know what I mean...
- My machete. If you know what I mean...
- One thousand Slim Jims. If you know what I mean...
- Ominous background music. If you know what I mean...
- Overpowering your father. If you know what I mean...
- Pistol-whipping a hostage. If you know what I mean...
- Quiche. If you know what I mean...
- Quivering jowls. If you know what I mean...
- Revenge fucking. If you know what I mean...
- Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart. If you know what I mean...
- Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse. If you know what I mean...
- Santa Claus. If you know what I mean...
- Scrotum tickling. If you know what I mean...
- Sexual humiliation. If you know what I mean...
- Sexy Siamese twins. If you know what I mean...
- Slow motion. If you know what I mean...
- Space muffins. If you know what I mean...
- Statistically validated stereotypes. If you know what I mean...
- Sudden Poop Explosion Disease. If you know what I mean...
- The boners of the elderly. If you know what I mean...
- The economy. If you know what I mean...
- The Fanta girls. If you know what I mean...
- The Gulags. If you know what I mean...
- The harsh light of day. If you know what I mean...
- The hiccups. If you know what I mean...
- The shambling corpse of Larry King. If you know what I mean...
- The four arms of Vishnu. If you know what I mean...
- Being a busy adult with many important things to do. If you know what I mean...
- Tripping balls. If you know what I mean...
- Words, words, words. If you know what I mean...
- Zeus's sexual appetites. If you know what I mean...
Last active
September 1, 2015 20:08
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