A stripped-down version of the Klouchebag script, putting scores in localStorage

klouchebag_min.js

function fetchTweets(user) {

  $.ajax({
	type     : 'GET',
	dataType : 'jsonp',
	url      : 'http://api.twitter.com/1/statuses/user_timeline.json',  

	data     : { screen_name: user,
				 count: 200,
				 include_rts: 1,
				 trim_user: 0 },
	success  : 

	  function(data){
  
		showResults(user, data);

	  },
	  
	error    :
	
	  function(xml,status) {
	  
		errorout();
	  
	  }
	
		
  });
  
}

function showResults(user, data) {

  
  
  var r = calculateTotalScore(data);
  
  /*switch(data[0].user.screen_name.toLowerCase()) {
	case 'tomscott':
	case 'piersmorgan':
	  r = 100;
	  break;
	  
  }*/

  console.log(r);
  localStorage.setItem(user + '_score', r);

}    
function errorout() {

  screen('error');

}

function restart() {

  screen('input');

}

function calculateTotalScore(t) {

  var msg = '';
  var textspeak = 0;
  var social = 0;
  var retweets_total = 0;
  var retweets_fake = 0;
  var retweets_please = 0;
  var profanity = 0;
  
  for (var i in t) {
  
	textspeak += textSpeakScore(t[i]);
	social += socialScore(t[i]);
	
	if (t[i].retweeted_status) { retweets_total++; }
	if (isFakeRetweet(t[i])) { retweets_fake++; }
	
	profanity += profanityScore(t[i]);
	
  }
  
  textspeak -= 40;
  textspeak /= 250;
  if (textspeak < 0) { textspeak = 0; }
  if (textspeak > 1) { textspeak = 1; }
  
  social /= 20;
  if (social > 1) { social = 1; }
  
  var retweets = 0;
  if (retweets_total == 0 ) { retweets += 10; }
  if (retweets_total > 10 ) { retweets += (retweets_total - 10); }
  retweets += retweets_fake * 5;
  retweets += retweets_please * 10;
  
  retweets /= 30;
  if (retweets > 1) { retweets = 1; }
  
  profanity /= 20;
  if (profanity > 1) { profanity = 1; }
  
  var total = Math.round((textspeak+social+retweets+profanity)*25)
  return total;

}

function textSpeakScore(tweet) {

  // standard rules from Stupid Fight

  var d = 0;
  var msg = tweet.text;
  d += rCount(msg,/(.)\1{3}/g);
  d += rCount(msg,/(.)\1{7}/g);
  d += rCount(msg,/(!!)/g);
  d += rCount(msg,/(\?\?)/g);
  
  if (!msg.match(/[\.,!\?;:]/)) { d += 10; }
  
  d += rCount(msg.toLowerCase(),/\s[b-h|j-z]\s/g) * 5;
  d += rCount(msg.toLowerCase(),/(lol|omg|wtf|ftw|\&lt\;3|luv|xo|yr|wit\W|\Wur\W|btw|rofl|lmao|stfu)/g) * 5;    
  
  return d;

}

function socialScore(tweet) {

  // social checkins

  var d = 0;
  var source = tweet.source.toLowerCase();
  var msg = tweet.text.toLowerCase();
  d += rCount(source,/foursquare/g);
  d += rCount(source,/jam/g);
  d += rCount(source,/miso/g);
  d += rCount(source,/agram/g);
  d += rCount(source,/zeebox/g);
  d += rCount(source,/klout/g);
  d += rCount(source,/dlvr/g);
  d += rCount(source,/paper\.li/g);
  d += rCount(msg,/klout\.li/g);
  d += rCount(msg,/klouchebag\.li/g);
  return d;

}

function isFakeRetweet(tweet) {

  msg = tweet.text.toLowerCase();
  var d = rCount(msg,/rt\ @/g);
  
  if (d > 0) {
	if (tweet.retweeted_status) { return false; } else { return true; }
  } else {
	return false;
  }

}

function pleaseRetweet(tweet) {

  msg = tweet.text.toLowerCase();
  d += rCount(source,/(pls|plz|please) (rt|retweet)/g);
  d += rCount(source,/(rt|retweet) (pls|plz|please|thx|thanks|if)/g);

}

function profanityScore(tweet) {


  var d = 0;

  // broken up to avoid overaggressive web filtering
  // words and weighting taken from Ofcom's incredible 2000 "delete expletives?" report: http://www.ofcom.org.uk/static/archive/itc/uploads/Delete_Expletives.pdf
  // ps: mum, please don't read this

  var epithets = [
  
  'fu'+'kin', 'cu'+'nt', 'fu'+'ck', 'fuk', 'fu'+'kers', 'wan'+'k', 'motherf'+'ucker', 'mo'+'fo',   // Hey hey, it's lousy obscene spelling time!
  'bast'+'ard', 'tw'+'at', 'as'+'shole', 'ars'+'ehole',
  
  'nig'+'ger','fa'+'ggot'                  // I'm only writing these in source code, and I still feel uncomfortable typing them
										   // ...is it somehow less offensive if I copy and paste them instead?
															   
  ]
															   
  var msg = tweet.text.toLowerCase();
  
  var regex;      
  for (var i in epithets) {
	regex = RegExp(epithets[i],'g');
	d += rCount(msg,regex);
  }
  
  return d;

}

function rCount(msg,reg) {
  result = msg.match(reg);
  if (result) { 
	return result.length;
  } else {
	return 0;
  }
}