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Olical/cows.txt

Created April 29, 2015 14:03
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for cow in $(ls /usr/share/cows); do fortune | cowsay -f $cow; echo; done > cows.txt
Raw
cows.txt
__________________________________
< Money is the root of all wealth. >
----------------------------------
\ __------~~-,
\ ,' ,
/ \
/ :
| '
| |
| |
| _-- |
_| =-. .-. ||
o|/o/ _. |
/ ~ \ |
(____@) ___~ |
|_===~~~.` |
_______.--~ |
\________ |
\ |
__/-___-- -__
/ _ \
_________________________________________
< A company is known by the men it keeps. >
-----------------------------------------
\
\
^__^
_______/(oo)
/\/( /(__)
| W----|| |~|
|| || |~| ~~
|~| ~
|_| o
|#|/
_+#+_
_________________________________________
/ A rose is a rose is a rose. Just ask \
| Jean Marsh, known to millions of PBS |
| viewers in the '70s as Rose, the maid |
| on the LWT export "Upstairs, |
| Downstairs." Though Marsh has since |
| gone on to other projects, ... it's |
| with Rose she's forever identified. So |
| much so that she even likes to joke |
| about having one named after her, a |
| distinction not without its drawbacks. |
| "I was very flattered when I heard |
| about it, but when I looked up the |
| official description, it said, `Jean |
| Marsh: pale peach, not very good in |
| beds; better up against a wall.' I want |
| to tell you that's not true. I'm very |
\ good in beds as well." /
-----------------------------------------
\
\
oO)-. .-(Oo
/__ _\ /_ __\
\ \( | ()~() | )/ /
\__|\ | (-___-) | /|__/
' '--' ==`-'== '--' '
________________________________________
< You enjoy the company of other people. >
----------------------------------------
\
\ \
\ /\
( )
.( o ).
_________________________________________
/ Real programmers don't write in BASIC. \
| Actually, no programmers write in BASIC |
\ after reaching puberty. /
-----------------------------------------
\
\
_____ _________
/ \_/ |
| ||
| ||
| ###\ /### | |
| 0 \/ 0 | |
/| | |
/ | < |\ \
| /| | | |
| | \_______/ | | |
| | | / /
/|| /|||
----------------|
| | | |
*** ***
/___\ /___\
______________________________________
/ Living in New York City gives people \
| real incentives to want things that |
| nobody else wants. |
| |
\ -- Andy Warhol /
--------------------------------------
\
\
,__, | |
(oo)\| |___
(__)\| | )\_
| |_w | \
| | || *
Cower....
_________________________________________
/ Pray: To ask that the laws of the \
| universe be annulled in behalf of a |
| single petitioner confessedly unworthy. |
\ -- Ambrose Bierce /
-----------------------------------------
\ , ,
\ /( )`
\ \ \___ / |
/- _ `-/ '
(/\/ \ \ /\
/ / | ` \
O O ) / |
`-^--'`< '
(_.) _ ) /
`.___/` /
`-----' /
<----. __ / __ \
<----|====O)))==) \) /====
<----' `--' `.__,' \
| |
\ /
______( (_ / \______
,' ,-----' | \
`--{__________) \/
_________________________________________
/ Mr. DePree also expects a "tremendous \
| social change" in all workplaces. "When |
| I first started working 40 years ago, a |
| factory supervisor was focused on the |
| product. Today it is drastically |
| different, because of the social |
| milieu. It isn't unusual for a worker |
| to arrive on his shift and have some |
| family problem that he doesn't know how |
| to resolve. The example I like to use |
| is a guy who comes in and says 'this |
| isn't going to be a good day for me, my |
| son is in jail on a drunk-driving |
| charge and I don't know how to raise |
| bail.' What that means is that if the |
| supervisor wants productivity, he has |
| to know how to raise bail." -- Max |
| DePree, chairman and CEO of Herman |
| Miller Inc., "Herman Miller's |
| |
| Secrets of Corporate Creativity", The |
\ Wall Street Journal, May 3, 1988 /
-----------------------------------------
\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
______________________________________
/ It's easier to take it apart than to \
| put it back together. |
| |
\ -- Washlesky /
--------------------------------------
\ ^ /^
\ / \ // \
\ |\___/| / \// .\
\ /O O \__ / // | \ \ *----*
/ / \/_/ // | \ \ \ |
@___@` \/_ // | \ \ \/\ \
0/0/| \/_ // | \ \ \ \
0/0/0/0/| \/// | \ \ | |
0/0/0/0/0/_|_ / ( // | \ _\ | /
0/0/0/0/0/0/`/,_ _ _/ ) ; -. | _ _\.-~ / /
,-} _ *-.|.-~-. .~ ~
\ \__/ `/\ / ~-. _ .-~ /
\____(oo) *. } { /
( (--) .----~-.\ \-` .~
//__\\ \__ Ack! ///.----..< \ _ -~
// \\ ///-._ _ _ _ _ _ _{^ - - - - ~
_______________________________
/ Veni, vidi, vici. \
| |
| [I came, I saw, I conquered]. |
| |
\ -- Gaius Julius Caesar /
-------------------------------
\ / \ //\
\ |\___/| / \// \\
/0 0 \__ / // | \ \
/ / \/_/ // | \ \
@_^_@'/ \/_ // | \ \
//_^_/ \/_ // | \ \
( //) | \/// | \ \
( / /) _|_ / ) // | \ _\
( // /) '/,_ _ _/ ( ; -. | _ _\.-~ .-~~~^-.
(( / / )) ,-{ _ `-.|.-~-. .~ `.
(( // / )) '/\ / ~-. _ .-~ .-~^-. \
(( /// )) `. { } / \ \
(( / )) .----~-.\ \-' .~ \ `. \^-.
///.----..> \ _ -~ `. ^-` ^-_
///-._ _ _ _ _ _ _}^ - - - - ~ ~-- ,.-~
/.-~
______________________________________
/ The following statement is not true. \
\ The previous statement is true. /
--------------------------------------
\ /\ ___ /\
\ // \/ \/ \\
(( O O ))
\\ / \ //
\/ | | \/
| | | |
| | | |
| o |
| | | |
|m| |m|
________________________________________
/ "Pull the trigger and you're garbage." \
\ -- Lady Blue /
----------------------------------------
\
\ ....
........ .
. .
. .
......... .......
..............................
Elephant inside ASCII snake
_________________________________________
/ Hack placidly amidst the noisy \
| printers and remember what prizes there |
| may be in Science. As fast as possible |
| get a good terminal on a good system. |
| Enter your data clearly but always |
| encrypt your results. And listen to |
| others, even the dull and ignorant, for |
| they may be your customers. Avoid loud |
| and aggressive persons, for they are |
| sales reps. |
| |
| If you compare your outputs with those |
| of others, you may be surprised, for |
| always there will be greater and lesser |
| numbers than you have crunched. Keep |
| others interested in your career, and |
| try not to fumble; it can be a real |
| hassle and could change your fortunes |
| in time. |
| |
| Exercise system control in your |
| experiments, for the world is full of |
| bugs. But let this not blind you to |
| what virtue there is; many persons |
| strive for linearity and everywhere |
| papers are full of approximations. |
| Strive for proportionality. Especially, |
| do not faint when it occurs. Neither be |
| cyclical about results; for in the face |
| of all data analysis it is sure to be |
| noticed. |
| |
| Take with a grain of salt the anomalous |
| data points. Gracefully pass them on to |
| the youth at the next desk. Nurture |
| some mutual funds to shield you in |
| times of sudden layoffs. But do not |
| distress yourself with imaginings -- |
| the real bugs are enough to screw you |
| badly. Murphy's Law runs the Universe |
| -- and whether or not it is clear to |
| you, no doubt <Curl>B*n dS = 0. |
| |
| Therefore, grab for a piece of the pie, |
| with whatever proposals you can |
| conceive of to try. With all the |
| crashed disks, skewed data, and broken |
| line printers, you can still have a |
| beautiful secretary. Be linear. Strive |
| to stay employed. |
| |
\ -- Technolorata, "Analog" /
-----------------------------------------
\
\
.::!!!!!!!:.
.!!!!!:. .:!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~~~!!!!!!. .:!!!!!!!!!UWWW$$$
:$$NWX!!: .:!!!!!!XUWW$$$$$$$$$P
$$$$$##WX!: .<!!!!UW$$$$" $$$$$$$$#
$$$$$ $$$UX :!!UW$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$*
^$$$B $$$$\ $$$$$$$$$$$$ d$$R"
"*$bd$$$$ '*$$$$$$$$$$$o+#"
"""" """""""
________________________________________
/ Misfortune, n.: \
| |
| The kind of fortune that never misses. |
| |
| -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's |
\ Dictionary" /
----------------------------------------
\ . . .
\ . . . ` ,
\ .; . : .' : : : .
\ i..`: i` i.i.,i i .
\ `,--.|i |i|ii|ii|i:
UooU\.'@@@@@@`.||'
\__/(@@@@@@@@@@)'
(@@@@@@@@)
`YY~~~~YY'
|| ||
_______________________________________
/ - long f_ffree; /* free file nodes in \
| fs */ + long f_ffree; /* freie |
| Dateiknoten im Dateisystem */ |
| |
\ -- Seen in a translation /
---------------------------------------
\
\
\ __---__
_- /--______
__--( / \ )XXXXXXXXXXX\v.
.-XXX( O O )XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-
/XXX( U ) XXXXXXX\
/XXXXX( )--_ XXXXXXXXXXX\
/XXXXX/ ( O ) XXXXXX \XXXXX\
XXXXX/ / XXXXXX \__ \XXXXX
XXXXXX__/ XXXXXX \__---->
---___ XXX__/ XXXXXX \__ /
\- --__/ ___/\ XXXXXX / ___--/=
\-\ ___/ XXXXXX '--- XXXXXX
\-\/XXX\ XXXXXX /XXXXX
\XXXXXXXXX \ /XXXXX/
\XXXXXX > _/XXXXX/
\XXXXX--__/ __-- XXXX/
-XXXXXXXX--------------- XXXXXX-
\XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX/
""VXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV""
______________________________________
/ Let the people think they govern and \
| they will be governed. |
| |
| -- William Penn, founder of |
\ Pennsylvania /
--------------------------------------
\
\
^__^ /
(oo)\_______/ _________
(__)\ )=( ____|_ \_____
||----w | \ \ \_____ |
|| || || ||
_________________________________________
/ I: \
| |
| The best way to make a silk purse from |
| a sow's ear is to begin |
| |
| with a silk sow. The same is true of |
| money. II: |
| |
| If today were half as good as tomorrow |
| is supposed to be, it would |
| |
| probably be twice as good as yesterday |
| was. III: |
| |
| There are no lazy veteran lion hunters. |
| IV: |
| |
| If you can afford to advertise, you |
| don't need to. V: |
| |
| One-tenth of the participants produce |
| over one-third of the output. |
| |
| Increasing the number of participants |
| merely reduces the average |
| |
| output. |
| |
\ -- Norman Augustine /
-----------------------------------------
\
\
/\_)o<
| \
| O . O|
\_____/
________________________________________
/ Put cats in the coffee and mice in the \
\ tea! /
----------------------------------------
\
\
,;;;;;;;,
;;;;;;;;;;;,
;;;;;'_____;'
;;;(/))))|((\
_;;((((((|))))
/ |_\\\\\\\\\\\\
.--~( \ ~))))))))))))
/ \ `\-(((((((((((\\
| | `\ ) |\ /|)
| | `. _/ \_____/ |
| , `\~ /
| \ \ /
| `. `\| /
| ~- `\ /
\____~._/~ -_, (\
|-----|\ \ ';;
| | :;;;' \
| / | |
| | |
_________________________________
/ Love -- the last of the serious \
\ diseases of childhood. /
---------------------------------
\
\
("`-' '-/") .___..--' ' "`-._
` *_ * ) `-. ( ) .`-.__. `)
(_Y_.) ' ._ ) `._` ; `` -. .-'
_.. `--'_..-_/ /--' _ .' ,4
( i l ),-'' ( l i),' ( ( ! .-'
_________________________________________
/ Well, anyway, I was reading this James \
| Bond book, and right away I realized |
| that like most books, it had too many |
| words. The plot was the same one that |
| all James Bond books have: An evil |
| person tries to blow up the world, but |
| James Bond kills him and his henchmen |
| and makes love to several attractive |
| women. There, that's it: 24 words. But |
| the guy who wrote the book took |
| *thousands* of words to say it. |
| |
| Or consider "The Brothers Karamazov", |
| by the famous Russian alcoholic Fyodor |
| Dostoyevsky. It's about these two |
| brothers who kill their father. Or |
| maybe only one of them kills the |
| father. It's impossible to tell because |
| what they mostly do is talk for nearly |
| a thousand pages. If all Russians talk |
| as much as the Karamazovs did, I don't |
| see how they found time to become a |
| major world power. |
| |
| I'm told that Dostoyevsky wrote "The |
| Brothers Karamazov" to raise the |
| question of whether there is a God. So |
| why didn't he just come right out and |
| say: "Is there a God? It sure beats the |
| heck out of me." |
| |
| Other famous works could easily have |
| been summarized in a few words: |
| |
| * "Moby Dick" -- Don't mess around with |
| large whales because they symbolize |
| |
| nature and will kill you. * "A Tale of |
| Two Cities" -- French people are crazy. |
| |
\ -- Dave Barry /
-----------------------------------------
\
\
___
{~._.~}
( Y )
()~*~()
(_)-(_)
_________________________________________
/ QOTD: \
| |
| "The elder gods went to Suggoth and all |
\ I got was this lousy T-shirt." /
-----------------------------------------
\
\
\
___ _____ ___
/ \ / /| / \
| | / / | | |
| | /____/ | | |
| | | | | | |
| | | {} | / | |
| | |____|/ | |
| | |==| | |
| \___________/ |
| |
| |
________________________________________
/ If Patrick Henry thought that taxation \
| without representation was bad, he |
| should see how bad it is with |
\ representation. /
----------------------------------------
\
\ .
___ //
{~._.~}//
( Y )K/
()~*~()
(_)-(_)
Luke
Sywalker
koala
________________________________________
/ Adding manpower to a late software \
| project makes it later. |
| |
| -- F. Brooks, "The Mythical Man-Month" |
| |
| Whenever one person is found adequate |
| to the discharge of a duty by close |
| application thereto, it is worse |
| execute by two persons and scarcely |
| done at all if three or more are |
| employed therein. |
| |
\ -- George Washington, 1732-1799 /
----------------------------------------
\
\ , _ ___.--'''`--''//-,-_--_.
\`"' ` || \\ \ \\/ / // / ,-\\`,_
/'` \ \ || Y | \|/ / // / - |__ `-,
/@"\ ` \ `\ | | ||/ // | \/ \ `-._`-,_.,
/ _.-. `.-\,___/\ _/|_/_\_\/|_/ | `-._._)
`-'``/ / | // \__/\__ / \__/ \
`-' /-\/ | -| \__ \ |-' |
__/\ / _/ \/ __,-' ) ,' _|'
(((__/(((_.' ((___..-'((__,'
_________________________________________
/ Rattling around the back of my head is \
| a disturbing image of something I saw |
| at the airport ... Now I'm remembering, |
| those giant piles of computer magazines |
| right next to "People" and "Time" in |
| the airport store. Does it bother |
| anyone else that half the world is |
| being told all of our hard-won secrets |
| of computer technology? Remember how |
| all the lawyers cried foul when "How to |
| Avoid Probate" was published? Are they |
| taking no-fault insurance lying down? |
| No way! But at the current rate it |
| won't be long before there are stacks |
| of the "Transactions on Information |
| Theory" at the A&P checkout counters. |
| Who's going to be impressed with us |
| electrical engineers then? Are we, as |
| the saying goes, giving away the store? |
| |
\ -- Robert W. Lucky, IEEE President /
-----------------------------------------
\ ____________
\ |__________|
/ /\
/ / \
/___________/___/|
| | |
| ==\ /== | |
| O O | \ \ |
| < | \ \|
/| | \ \
/ | \_____/ | / /
/ /| | / /|
/||\| | /||\/
-------------|
| | | |
<__/ \__>
______________________________________
/ She's learned to say things with her \
| eyes that others waste time putting |
\ into words. /
--------------------------------------
\ ____
\ / \
| ^__^ |
| (oo) |______
| (__) | )\/\
\____/|----w |
|| ||
Moofasa
_____________________
/ Oh no, not again. \
| |
\ -- Manoj Srivastava /
---------------------
\
\ \_\_ _/_/
\ \__/
(oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
_________________________________________
/ I have no doubt the Devil grins, As \
| seas of ink I spatter. Ye gods, forgive |
| my "literary" sins-- The other kind |
| don't matter. |
| |
\ -- Robert W. Service /
-----------------------------------------
\ \_______
v__v \ \ O )
(oo) ||----w |
(__) || || \/\
______________________________________
/ "It is easier to port a shell than a \
| shell script." |
| |
\ -- Larry Wall /
--------------------------------------
\
\
____
/# /_\_
| |/o\o\
| \\_/_/
/ |_ |
| ||\_ ~|
| ||| \/
| |||_
\// |
|| |
||_ \
\_| o|
/\___/
/ ||||__
(___)_)
________________________
< The future lies ahead. >
------------------------
\
\ (__)
(\/)
/-------\/
/ | 666 ||
* ||----||
~~ ~~
_________________________________________
/ There is nothing which cannot be \
| answered by means of my doctrine," said |
| a monk, coming into a teahouse where |
| Nasrudin sat. |
| |
| "And yet just a short time ago, I was |
| challenged by a scholar with an |
| unanswerable question," said Nasrudin. |
| |
| "I could have answered it if I had been |
| there." |
| |
| "Very well. He asked, 'Why are you |
| breaking into my house in the middle of |
\ the night?'" /
-----------------------------------------
\
\
__
UooU\.'@@@@@@`.
\__/(@@@@@@@@@@)
(@@@@@@@@)
`YY~~~~YY'
|| ||
________________________________________
/ I don't think I'm gonna agree with \
| that. Way too much visual confusion... |
| |
| -- Larry Wall in |
\ <199709021627.JAA11966@wall.org> /
----------------------------------------
\ (__)
\ /oo|
\ (_"_)*+++++++++*
//I#\\\\\\\\I\
I[I|I|||||I I `
I`I'///'' I I
I I I I
~ ~ ~ ~
Scowleton
__________________________
< TAILFINS!! ... click ... >
--------------------------
\ ,__,
\ (oo)____
(__) )\
||--|| *
________________________________________
/ Fortune finishes the great quotations, \
| #15 |
| |
| "Give me your tired, your poor, your |
| huddled masses." |
| |
| And while you're at it, throw in a |
| couple of those Dallas |
| |
\ Cowboy cheerleaders. /
----------------------------------------
\ _
\ (_)
\ ^__^ / \
\ (oo)\_____/_\ \
(__)\ ) /
||----w ((
|| ||>>
_________________________________________
/ A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, \
| what a scope for misery and folly. If |
| they be not inhabited, what a waste of |
| space. |
| |
\ -- Thomas Carlyle, looking at the stars /
-----------------------------------------
\ . .
\ / `. .' "
\ .---. < > < > .---.
\ | \ \ - ~ ~ - / / |
_____ ..-~ ~-..-~
| | \~~~\.' `./~~~/
--------- \__/ \__/
.' O \ / / \ "
(_____, `._.' | } \/~~~/
`----. / } | / \__/
`-. | / | / `. ,~~|
~-.__| /_ - ~ ^| /- _ `..-'
| / | / ~-. `-. _ _ _
|_____| |_____| ~ - . _ _ _ _ _>
______________________________________
/ There's nothing in the middle of the \
| road but yellow stripes and dead |
| armadillos. |
| |
| -- Jim Hightower, Texas Agricultural |
\ Commissioner /
--------------------------------------
\ . _ .
\ |\_|/__/|
/ / \/ \ \
/__|O||O|__ \
|/_ \_/\_/ _\ |
| | (____) | ||
\/\___/\__/ //
(_/ ||
| ||
| ||\
\ //_/
\______//
__ || __||
(____(____)
________________________________________
/ Life is one long struggle in the dark. \
| |
\ -- Titus Lucretius Carus /
----------------------------------------
\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______ ________
(__)\ )\/\ |Super |
||----W | |Milker|
|| UDDDDDDDDD|______|
_________________________________________
/ Tout choses sont dites deja, mais comme \
| personne n'ecoute, il faut toujours |
| recommencer. |
| |
| -- A. Gide |
| |
| [ All things have already been said, |
| but since no one listens, one |
| |
\ must always start again. ] /
-----------------------------------------
\ \ /
\ \/
(__) /\
(oo) O O
_\/_ //
* ( ) //
\ (\\ //
\( \\ )
( \\ ) /\
___[\______/^^^^^^^\__/) o-)__
|\__[=======______//________)__\
\|_______________//____________|
||| || //|| |||
||| || @.|| |||
|| \/ .\/ ||
. .
'.'.`
COW-OPERATION
_______________________________________
/ "MOKE DAT YIGARETTE" \
| |
\ -- "The Last Coin", James P. Blaylock /
---------------------------------------
\ _
\ (_) <-- TeleBEARS
\ ^__^ / \
\ (oo)\_____/_\ \
(__)\ you ) /
||----w ((
|| ||>>
_________________________________________
/ "I am not sure what this is, but an `F' \
| would only dignify it." |
| |
\ -- English Professor /
-----------------------------------------
\ ^___^
\ (ooo)\_______
(___)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
_____________________________________
/ Hi! I'm a .signature virus! Copy me \
| into your ~/.signature to help me |
\ sprea= d! /
-------------------------------------
\ ,+*^^*+___+++_
\ ,*^^^^ )
\ _+* ^**+_
\ +^ _ _++*+_+++_, )
_+^^*+_ ( ,+*^ ^ \+_ )
{ ) ( ,( ,_+--+--, ^) ^\
{ (@) } f ,( ,+-^ __*_*_ ^^\_ ^\ )
{:;-/ (_+*-+^^^^^+*+*<_ _++_)_ ) ) /
( / ( ( ,___ ^*+_+* ) < < \
U _/ ) *--< ) ^\-----++__) ) ) )
( ) _(^)^^)) ) )\^^^^^))^*+/ / /
( / (_))_^)) ) ) ))^^^^^))^^^)__/ +^^
( ,/ (^))^)) ) ) ))^^^^^^^))^^) _)
*+__+* (_))^) ) ) ))^^^^^^))^^^^^)____*^
\ \_)^)_)) ))^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^)
(_ ^\__^^^^^^^^^^^^))^^^^^^^)
^\___ ^\__^^^^^^))^^^^^^^^)\\
^^^^^\uuu/^^\uuu/^^^^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\
___) >____) >___ ^\_\_\_\_\_\_\)
^^^//\\_^^//\\_^ ^(\_\_\_\)
^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^
_________________________________________
/ Note that if I can get you to "su and \
| say" something just by asking, you have |
| a very serious security problem on your |
| system and you should look into it. |
| |
| -- Paul Vixie, vixie-cron 3.0.1 |
\ installation notes /
-----------------------------------------
\ ___-------___
\ _-~~ ~~-_
\ _-~ /~-_
/^\__/^\ /~ \ / \
/| O|| O| / \_______________/ \
| |___||__| / / \ \
| \ / / \ \
| (_______) /______/ \_________ \
| / / \ / \
\ \^\\ \ / \ /
\ || \______________/ _-_ //\__//
\ ||------_-~~-_ ------------- \ --/~ ~\ || __/
~-----||====/~ |==================| |/~~~~~
(_(__/ ./ / \_\ \.
(_(___/ \_____)_)
__________________________________
/ Nobody ever died from oven crude \
\ poisoning. /
----------------------------------
\
\
.--.
|o_o |
|:_/ |
// \ \
(| | )
/'\_ _/`\
\___)=(___/
_________________________________________
/ Men's skin is different from women's \
| skin. It is usually bigger, and it has |
| more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if |
| you examine a woman's skin very |
| closely, inch by inch, starting at her |
| shapely ankles, then gently tracing the |
| slender curve of her calves, then |
| moving up to her ... |
| |
| [EDITOR'S NOTE: To make room for news |
| articles about important world events |
| such as agriculture, we're going to |
| delete the next few square feet of the |
| woman's skin. Thank you.] |
| |
| ... until finally the two of you are |
| lying there, spent, smoking your |
| cigarettes, and suddenly it hits you: |
| Human skin is actually made up of |
| billions of tiny units of protoplasm, |
| called "cells"! And what is even more |
| interesting, the ones on the outside |
| are all dying! This is a fact. Your |
| skin is like an aggressive modern |
| corporation, where the older veteran |
| cells, who have finally worked their |
| way to the top and obtained offices |
| with nice views, are constantly being |
| shoved out the window head first, |
| without so much as a pension plan, by |
| younger hotshot cells moving up from |
| below. |
| |
\ -- Dave Barry, "Saving Face" /
-----------------------------------------
\
\ (__)
o o\
('') \---------
\ \
| |\
||---( )_|| *
|| UU ||
== ==
_________________________________________
/ In America today ... we have Woody \
| Allen, whose humor has become so |
| sophisticated that nobody gets it any |
| more except Mia Farrow. All those who |
| think Mia Farrow should go back to |
| making movies where the devil gets her |
| pregnant and Woody Allen should go back |
| to dressing up as a human sperm, please |
| raise your hands. Thank you. |
| |
\ -- Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny" /
-----------------------------------------
\ ,-^-.
\ !oYo!
\ /./=\.\______
## )\/\
||-----w||
|| ||
Cowth Vader
_________________________________________
/ At Group L, Stoffel oversees six \
| first-rate programmers, a managerial |
| challenge roughly comparable to herding |
| cats. |
| |
| -- The Washington Post Magazine, 9 |
\ June, 1985 /
-----------------------------------------
\
\ .
.---. //
Y|o o|Y//
/_(i=i)K/
~()~*~()~
(_)-(_)
Darth
Vader
koala
_________________________________________
/ We've sent a man to the moon, and \
| that's 29,000 miles away. The center of |
| the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You |
| could drive that in a week, but for |
| some reason nobody's ever done it. |
| |
\ -- Andy Rooney /
-----------------------------------------
\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||--WWW |
|| ||
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