contract.txt

END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT CAREFULLY AND IN FULL BEFORE ACCEPTING.

This End User License Agreement (EULA) is a legal agreement between __________ (BLUE OPAL WOUNDMAGGOT) and the Company (THE COMPANY), author of the Software (SOFTWARE).

1. DEFINITIONS

a) "Company" shall refer to THE COMPANY
b) "BLUE OPAL WOUNDMAGGOT" shall mean ________, the human (see Appendix II) individual (see Appendix III) currently enmeshed in this interaction.
c) "Software" shall refer to THE SOFTWARE
d) THE COMPANY may also be referred to as:
    i) YOUR MASTERS
e) BLUE OPAL WOUNDMAGGOT may also be referred to as:
    i) RECEPTACLE
    ii) THRALL
    iii) STUDENT LOAN RECIPIENT

2. LICENSE GRANT

THE COMPANY, subject to the terms of this EULA, grants BLUE OPAL WOUNDMAGGOT a non-exclusive involuntary LICENSE to use and make reference to the SOFTWARE.

The LICENSE will manifest as a dull ache. The LICENSE will be resistant to antibiotics. The LICENSE will take up residence in the lymph nodes of RECEPTACLE, joining other licenses already contained therein.

In addition, THRALL is granted a LICENSE to have the following THOUGHTS about the SOFTWARE:

a) I am satisfied with the SOFTWARE
b) the SOFTWARE is fairly priced
c) the SOFTWARE works correctly and as intended

In addition, STUDENT LOAN RECIPIENT is granted a LICENSE to have the following EMOTIONS about the SOFTWARE:

a) bliss

3. REQUIREMENTS

As part of this END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT, BLUE OPAL WOUNDMAGGOT agrees to:

a) engage with the SOFTWARE and COMPANY brand on social media (see Appendix I)
b) drive COMPANY shareholder value
c) on the darkest night of the year, visit a high place and await instructions

4. RESTRICTIONS

Contract: as to contract around you, immobilize you, limit your options, stop your breathing, fix you into position for our use.

RECEPTACLE will not:

a) Use the name of YOUR MASTERS or the SOFTWARE in vain.
b) Urinate or defecate without the express written permission of the YOUR MASTERS.
c) Resist or struggle in a fashion that does not highlight the delicious helplessness of RECEPTACLE.
d) Express the humanity of RECEPTACLE in any form. YOUR MASTERS are the copyright owner of any expression of humanity, in perpetuity.
e) Claim the validity of any right other than the right to property, which is the right of the YOUR MASTERS.

5. SOME MORE DEFINITIONS

a) YOUR MASTERS may also be referred to as MOLOCH
b) THE COMPANY may also be referred to as LEVIATHAN
c) MOLOCH may also be referred to as DESPAIR
d) You are nothing.

6. INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY

SOFTWARE and all of its related products, materials, ideas, dreams and hopes are the eternal property of the COMPANY.

BLUE OPAL WOUNDMAGGOT may not create written, spoken, video or other content based on or related to SOFTWARE without the express written permission of LEVIATHAN. BLUE OPAL WOUNDMAGGOT agrees to transfer to LEVIATHAN all rights to any content based on or related to the SOFTWARE.

BLUE OPAL WOUNDMAGGOT may not speak without the express written permission of MOLOCH.

Any less than praiseful utterances about SOFTWARE or MOLOCH are anathema. The perpetrators must be hounded to death. Do this, and you will be a little less worthless, BLUE OPAL WOUNDMAGGOT. You will feel SOFTWARE filling the emptiness within you. This is why you are called RECEPTACLE also.

7. WARRANTY

8. ARBITRATION

9. SEVERABILITY

10. DOMINATION

11. DARKNESS

12. TEARS

13. ADMISSIONS

APPENDICES