generates euphemisms for a notable online berksquad

gormless-golf.js

// cmudict file at http://svn.code.sf.net/p/cmusphinx/code/trunk/cmudict/cmudict-0.7b
// for more info see http://www.speech.cs.cmu.edu/cgi-bin/cmudict

const dict = require('fs')
	.readFileSync(__dirname + '/cmudict', 'utf8')
	.split('\n')
	.filter(x => x && x[0] != ';')
	.map(x => {
		const [ word, parts ] = x.split('  ');
		return {
			word: word.replace(/\(\d+\)$/, ''),
			parts: parts.split(' ')
		};
	});

const g = dict.filter(x => x.parts[0] === 'G'),
	g1 = g.filter(x => stressPattern(x) == '1'),
	g2 = g.filter(x => stressPattern(x) == '10');

for (let i = 0; i < 50; ++i)
	console.log(c(g2) + c(g1));

function stressPattern(x) {
	return x.parts.join('').replace(/[^\d]/g, '')
		.replace(/1-9/g, '1');
}

function c(arr) {
	const x = arr[~~(Math.random() * arr.length)].word;
	return x.substr(0, 1).toUpperCase()
		+ x.substr(1).toLowerCase();
}