Did I have a severe case of stimulant psychosis? I cannot tell. But I do know I'm fucking lucky to not be dead

verideth_01.md

Hello everyone.

My name is verideth, and I've been going through a very dark and depressed time lately, but we'll just cut to the chase. A few days ago, I was depressed, craving a high. I'm only 15, so I haven't had much experiences with intense drugs, and intense hallucinations. However, I have OD'd before. I would like to state, that everything you hear me talk about is something I wish I never did. I wish this never happened, I'm not proud of it, however, the experience was pretty different from anything I've seen or heard.

It was 12:00am, my parents were sleeping, and I was craving a high, and quite depressed. I got on snapchat and started to message a few people, and then I went looking for my old medication (I have severe ADHD, and I remember reading about how ADHD medication gives you quite a high). Little did I know I'd actually find my drugs, hidden away. I was surprised to find these because due to my addictive personality, and not so good run in with drugs before, I've ran into massive problems with the law, my family, and drug abuse. So they locked up all my medication from me, and dumped all the alcohol out, etc.

I was really excited to see this, it was something I could never imagine happening. I went down in the basement, looked up the best way of taking these drugs, and proceeded to do them. Me, being the dumb self I am, mixed up all 4 of these drugs.... these drugs.... these drugs were very addictive, and very bad. These drugs were strattera, adderall, focaline, and ritalin.

I snorted about 30 pills total, (10 adderalls, 2 focalines, 10 stratteras, and 3 ritalins). Keep in mind, strattera hurt like a fucking bitch going up my nose, but I was craving to get a high.

After about 30 minutes I couldn't handle it, I started to text people on snapchat, I was very talkative, I knew something was going to happen.

Then I did a self evaluation in the mirror. Dilated pupils, and a thought popped in my head. What if I overdosed? Maybe I did? I remember reading somewhere that when people overdose on harder drugs like opiates and amphetamines they get blue lips and fingernails. I went to the mirror, and looked at my lips. They were extremely blue, so was my fingernails. I started to freak the fuck out, I could be dying I kept saying to myself.

I then proceeded to turn on $UICIDEBOY$ and just relax, ask for help from a few friends, and continue on. After about an hour I started to not give a shit, and went on the computer. Boy, this is when things got really weird. There was a tentacle monster on my screen, and I heard very quiet monsterous screams. I thought this was the coolest thing ever.

I saw beams of light moving around to. I knew I was tripping, but something wasn't right. I didn't think you could trip off of amps, but I just shrugged it off.

After about 30 minutes, I couldn't walk straight. The world was really turning on me, I'm having confusion.

30 minutes later, this is when it got really crazy. I walked up the stairs, and in my house, when you walk up the stairs you have a hallway of darkness. I open the door and see this shadow figure walking across the hall and ran at me. It made me jump, but for some odd reason I wasn't scared one bit. I knew I was tripping. I walked in the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, walked out, and the figure was there. I got a closer look at the figure, it was wearing a checkerboard suit, and then... it pulled a gun on me. I wasn't freaked out, but I was questioning if I was about to tremble into a bad trip.

I walked in the basement and turned off the lights to try to sleep, but left the TV on so I could see a bit. I couldn't even get a tiny bit of feeling of rest. So I stood up, and walked around my basement, seeing shadow figures everywhere. I saw a demon, the demon was wearing a black helmet, and it ran at me. Once again, I just jumped, I wasn't scared because I knew it was all fake. I saw a cat to, a cat was just staring at me.

I shrugged it off, then the man with the checkerboard suit came back. He just followed me around, and I didn't know what was going on. I wasn't scared, heck, I was kind of happy. This seemed really cool.

I walked in a pitch black room, my backroom in my basement, and to turn the light on theres a switch in the middle of the room. I walked to the switch, but as I got closer, it got further away. Which was really weird.

After that, I stopped hallucinating, I didn't have much auditory effects besides that monster. I did sit down and felt hands touching me, which was weird.

So my question is, was I having stimulant psychosis? I researched why I was tripping off amps when you shouldn't, and its the only thing I can think of.

Thanks so much for reading, and please, tell me.

Also, I read about methamphetamine and people saying its super scary. Why didn't I find this scary?

life changing. thanks for this