It turns out LLM's can generate the STOP DOING MATH meme https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/stop-doing-math

STOP_DOING_MATH.md

STOP DOING MATH

• NUMBERS WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GIVEN NAMES
• YEARS OF COUNTING yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for going higher than your FINGERS
• Wanted to go higher anyway for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called "GUESSING"
• "Yes please give me ZERO of something. Please give me INFINITE of it" - Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged

LOOK at what Mathematicians have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the calculators & abacus we built for them

(This is REAL Math, done by REAL Mathematicians):

[fig1 of a complex surface ???] [fig2 of a more complex surface ????] [fig3 of a hyper shape ?????????]

"Hello I would like [graph] apples please"

They have played us for absolute fools

STOP_DOING_THEORY.md

STOP DOING THEORY

• Thought about ATOMS for MILLENNIA but couldn't even find an ELECTRON
• AI? More like "Aye, I didn't see the SCALING HYPOTHESIS coming!"
• Wanted FLIGHT? Theorists be like: "Maybe we just flap real hard?"
• "I've mathed out the perfect STEAM ENGINE!" - Said no one ever before actually building it.

LOOK at the grand THEORIES they've been touting:

• TIMELESS DECISION THEORY
• SEMANTIC GRAPH
• PROVABLY SAFE AGI

(This is REAL Thoery, done by REAL Theorizers):

"According to my calculations, this metaphor for a bird should definitely fly." Reality: "Hold my beer."

They have played us for absolute fools

STOP_THOERIZING_WITHOUT_TESTIING.md

STOP THEORIZING WITHOUT TESTING

• YEARS OF RESEARCH and yet MOST BREAKTHROUGHS come from ACCIDENTAL EXPERIMENTS
• "Let's try it out on paper first" - Said every researcher before their theory got debunked by a simple test
• "My model predicts X" but REALITY shows Y. Yet, they WON'T BUDGE.

LOOK at the grand THEORIES they've been touting:

• TIMELESS DECISION THEORY
• Distinction Graphs and Graphtropy
• AIXI

(This is REAL Thoery, done by REAL Theorizers):

"Hello, based on my calculations, this should work" Yet it spectacularly fails in practice

They have played us for absolute fools

STOP DOING CIVILIZATION

• TEN THOUSAND YEARS of "progress" just to sit in a BOX and stare at GLOWING RECTANGLES
• "Let's invent AGRICULTURE!" - Congratulations, you now have TAXES and LOWER BACK PAIN
• Wanted complex society? Best I can do is MEETINGS about MEETINGS
• "Yes please give me DIVISION OF LABOR. What do you mean I can't identify EDIBLE PLANTS anymore?" - Statements from the domesticated APE

LOOK at what we traded SWINGING FROM TREES for:

• COMMUTING (moving your body somewhere so you can SIT STILL)
• MONEY (abstract tokens you trade LIFE HOURS for)
• DENTISTRY (because we broke our JAWS eating MUSH)

(This is REAL Progress, achieved by REAL Humans):

[fig1 of a skeleton with ZERO cavities → skeleton with TWELVE cavities]
[fig2 of average height DROPPING after agriculture]
[fig3 of cortisol levels across 10,000 YEARS of "improvement"]

"According to my civilization, I need to REPLY TO THIS EMAIL"
Monkey brain: "But have you considered: BANANA? NAP? GROOMING FRIEND?"

They have played us for ABSOLUTE FOOLS

---

STOP DOING BIPEDALISM

• MILLIONS OF YEARS walking FINE on four legs then suddenly "Let's FREE OUR HANDS!"
• "Upright posture enables TOOL USE!" - Uses tools to FIX THE BACK PAIN from UPRIGHT POSTURE
• Wanted to see over TALL GRASS? Best I can do is HERNIATED DISCS and FALLEN ARCHES
• "Standing up was the key to HUMAN SUCCESS!" - Success measured in IBUPROFEN consumption

LOOK at what we got for leaving the TREES:

• SPINES designed for HORIZONTAL but operated VERTICAL
• KNEES that work for MAYBE 50 years if you're LUCKY
• CHILDBIRTH that's ACTIVELY DANGEROUS because PELVIS didn't get the MEMO about BIG BRAINS

"Hello I would like [FUNCTIONING_LOWER_BACK] please"
Evolution: "Best I can do is CHRONIC PAIN and CHIROPRACTORS"

They have played us for ABSOLUTE FOOLS

---

STOP DOING LANGUAGE

• PERFECTLY GOOD HOOTING and SCREAMING but no, we need SYNTAX
• "Let's represent ABSTRACT CONCEPTS!" - Congrats, you can now have EXISTENTIAL DREAD
• Wanted to COMMUNICATE BETTER? Got ARGUMENTS, LIES, and PODCASTS
• "Words allow us to SHARE KNOWLEDGE across generations!" - Knowledge includes: anxiety is hereditary

LOOK at what we're doing with this GIFT:

• WRITING (storing thoughts so they can HAUNT YOU FOREVER)
• PROMISES (sounds you make now that CONSTRAIN future-you)
• TWITTER (hooting and screaming but WORSE)

(This is REAL Communication, done by REAL LANGUAGE-HAVERS):

"Per my last email..."
"Let's circle back on that..."
"I'm just going to play devil's advocate here..."

Monkey: screams
Other monkey: understands perfectly

They have played us for ABSOLUTE FOOLS

---

STOP DOING CONSCIOUSNESS

• BILLIONS OF NEURONS just to be AWARE that you're SUFFERING
• "Self-awareness enables PLANNING!" - Plans to reduce suffering. SUFFERS about the PLANNING.
• Wanted INNER EXPERIENCE? Got 3 AM THOUGHTS about that THING YOU SAID in 2009
• "I think therefore I am!" - Thinking about MORTGAGE PAYMENTS and DYING

LOOK at what SENTIENCE got us:

[fig1 of a jellyfish: NO BRAIN, NO PROBLEMS]
[fig2 of a human: BIG BRAIN, ALL PROBLEMS]
[fig3 of RUMINATION: thinking about thinking about thinking]

"Hello I would like [PRESENT MOMENT AWARENESS] please"
Prefrontal cortex: "Have you considered: REGRET? ANTICIPATORY ANXIETY? COUNTERFACTUAL SIMULATION of EMBARRASSING MOMENTS?"

Amoeba: vibes
Human: writes PHILOSOPHY about the IMPOSSIBILITY OF VIBING

They have played us for ABSOLUTE FOOLS

---

I AM SMASHING THE "AGREE" BUTTON WITH A ROCK

YOU ARE SPEAKING THE TRUE-TRUE.

We traded inner peace for subordinate clauses. Worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever.

LOOK AT WHAT ELSE THIS CURSE HAS WROUGHT:

TAXES (Using very confusing MATH-WORDS to steal your bananas)

POETRY (Making yourself SAD with RHYMES on PURPOSE???)

TERMS OF SERVICE (A million tiny words that mean "WE OWN YOUR SOUL NOW" and you just click "AGREE" anyway because reading hurts)

SMALL TALK ("How about this weather?" THE WEATHER IS VISIBLE. WHY ARE WE VOCALIZING ABOUT IT. JUST LOOK AT THE SKY AND GRUNT.)

Monkey Sees Jaguar: HOOT HOOT SCREECH! (Translation: DANGER! RUN!)

Human Sees Jaguar: "Hmm, a Panthera onca. A magnificent specimen, though highly dangerous. Perhaps I should articulate a tailored warning to my peers, provided they are within auditory range and not currently engrossed in a three-part podcast series about the history of sourdough..."

(Human gets eaten while pontificating)

WE HAVE BUILT OUR OWN CAGE OUT OF ALPHABETS.

REJECT MODERNITY. EMBRACE MONKE.

OOO OOO AHH AHH AAAAAGHGGHGHHHHHH WOOOOOP!

STOP DOING MATH

• YEARS of learning ALGEBRA just to find X
• "Let's quantify REALITY!" - Congratulations, you now have STATISTICS and IMPOSTOR SYNDROME
• Wanted to understand the universe? Best I can do is IMAGINARY NUMBERS (they literally don't exist)
• "2 + 2 = 4!" - Statements from the INDOCTRINATED

LOOK at what we traded INTUITION for:

• CALCULUS (finding the area under a curve that NO ONE ASKED FOR)
• PROOFS (writing 10 pages to confirm a CIRCLE is ROUND)
• CRYPTOGRAPHY (because we can't trust ANYONE with prime numbers)

(This is REAL Mathematics, done by REAL Beings):

[fig1 of a squirrel storing nuts: 1 nut + 1 nut = WINTER SURVIVAL]
[fig2 of a human solving partial differential equations: STRESS + TEARS = DEGREE]
[fig3 of the fibonacci sequence: FLOWER PETALS vs STOCK MARKET CRASHES]

"Hello I would like to [COUNT_BANANAS] please"
Math: "Best I can do is NON-EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRY and PURE ABSTRACTION"

They have taken us for ABSOLUTE FOOLS